Chapter 6
As You Wish, Milady
“Tell me, Martel. How many lies have crossed your lips in the last seventeen years, my dear friend?” Remy asked staring at his most trusted Lieutenant and the person he considered as his best friend.
He had just shown Annalise and Destin to their rooms and now he wanted answers.
“My Lord, I promised Annalise that I would allow her to remain dead in the eyes of all Halcion. I could not go back on my word,” Martel tried to explain.
“You knew what I felt for her, and yet you still kept quiet. How could you do that to me?” Remy said furiously. “Unless…” Remy stared at Martel and a thought crossed his mind that he would have never dared imagine of his friend. But maybe, just maybe. “Were you in love with her?”
Martel’s eyes widened in shock at the suggestion. He had been a friend and mentor to Lord Remy for many years, and it hurt to think that he would think so lowly of him, to imagine him using Annalise’s injuries to try to woo her from him. He wanted to scream at the man in anger but then a thought came to his mind that might just help Annalise.
“You ask if I loved her. Truly, Remy, was there a man in all of Halcion that did not secretly love her? She was beautiful, kind, and compassionate. She touched the lives of most citizens of this place, and found ways for their lives to be better,” Martel said staring out a window in Remy’s tower office.
“I see. So what happened? Why did you leave her?” Remy asked in disgust.
“Just because I loved her, doesn’t mean that she loved me also. She was always in love with you. She begged of me to return to Halcion and bring her word of you. The word I brought back to her nearly destroyed her heart. Not even six months after her supposed death you took Sebra as your wife.” Martel remembered well the day he had told Annalise that the father of her child had married the one woman she hated most of all.
Annalise had spent the rest of that day holding her son and crying. Martel had tried to offer her comfort but she only wanted her son. Martel knew that was the day she had decided to devote her life to her son alone. She no longer had a life of her own. Everything was for Destin.
Remy slumped into his chair. How could he explain what he had done? He had been pressured by his family to take a wife, and at that point it didn’t matter whom. Never had their King assigned the Lordship over one of his provinces to an unmarried Lord. And to Remy it had not mattered which woman he married, once Annalise was dead. He had gone through the preparations and ceremonies without caring what happened around him. He knew his marriage was a sham and always had been, but he was still married nonetheless.
“Answer me one question, Martel. And then you may return to your duties,” Remy finally said in a defeated tone.
Martel turned to face his lord nodding.
“Is Destin your son?” he whispered keeping his eyes averted. The boy deserved a father, and if Martel were his father he would make sure he lived up to his responsibilities.
Martel swallowed hard knowing he could not tell an out and out lie. Lord Remell was still his master. He owed him loyalty if nothing else. “I wish he was. He deserves better than what he has been given.” Was the only answer he could give, and then left without another word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Annalise was soon to find out that just because the Lady did not stay at the estate, it didn’t necessarily mean that the Lord would be away also. Day after day she would run into Lord Remell and more than often she would see him talking to Destin as he worked with the horses. She would always feel a tugging sensation near her heart as she watched the Lord laughing with Destin, and she was so worried not knowing what was being said.
She stood watching out a window as her son mucked out the stables. She wasn’t sure where Remy had disappeared to, so when she heard a deep male voice behind her it made her jump. “He’s a very hard worker.”
She spun around to see Lord Remy standing behind her leaning against the opposite wall. They were standing in a long hallway that led to the servant’s section of the estate. She had never seen him in this part of the house before. She blushed slightly not really remembering what he had said, but after a second it came back to her. “Yes he takes pride in his work.”
“You mentioned something about him being a Metal Crafter,” Remy said casually.
“Yes that is his greatest wish. He apprenticed with the local blacksmith in Kelsey, but to truly become accomplished he needs a new master. That is why we came to Halcion,” Annalise explained.
“I might be able to help him with that,” Remy said staring out the window at Destin. “My personal Metal Crafter has not taken an apprentice in years, but with persuasion, he might consider doing so.”
Annalise could not believe their luck. She knew that when Destin agreed to work for the Lord that he had all but given up on his dreams of becoming a fine Metal Crafter. “Truly, do you think he would accept Destin?”
“I believe he might.” Remy smiled at the excited tone he heard in her voice. He wished he could see her smile again. “Annalise, you know you don’t have to wear that veil here. No one would say anything rude to you concerning the scars.”
He could see the sparkle leave her eyes at his words. He had not wished to cause her pain, but he could see the effect his words had had on her. “I’m sorry for bringing up a painful subject. I just miss seeing you smile.”
Annalise looked away from him knowing that the kindness in his eyes could severely lower her defenses. “This veil is a part of me now, My Lord. I would not feel comfortable without it.”
Remy knew she was pushing him away because of Sebra. She had every right to. But still he could not resist the urge to remember the happy times he had spent with her. “Annalise, there are many things I should explain to you…” he started to say.
“No, you owe me no explanations,” Annalise broke in, “You and I were not meant to be, Lord Remell. I accept that fact. Please do not feel you owe me anything.”
Remy was surprised and rather disappointed by her words. Did she truly believe that they were never meant to be together?
Annalise turned as if she would leave, but Remy stuck his arm out to stop her resting it lightly on her forearm. “Annalise, even though I know it is wrong for me to say such things, I must tell you that I have never felt for Sebra the way I felt for you so long ago.”
Annalise closed her eyes and bit down hard on her lip. How many times had she dreamed of hearing those words from this man? She could not count those times they were so many, but she knew she could not allow herself to enjoy them. That was a dangerous path to travel. And she was not willing to risk what she held most dear to act on her true feelings. “Please, My Lord. You must not say such things.” She said pulling her arm from his hand and moving down the hall away from him. When she was a little further from him and thought she could control her breathing again she turned to face him. “Please, Remy. Let what was in the past die. We each have our own lives to lead, and I’m afraid you are not part of mine,” she said in her most pleading of voices.
She could barely stand the hurt look on his face. Her words were painful she knew but they were what had to be said. “Oh and please don’t mention our former relationship to my son. I beg of you not to tarnish the image he holds of me.”
Remy wanted desperately to shake some sense into her. This was not the Annalise he remembered from so long ago. This was not the woman he had fallen in love with. She had been strong and courageous, but soft and compassionate also. She would have never tried to intentionally bring pain to anyone she cared for. Had the years changed her so drastically? “As you wish then, Milady,” he said bitterly and then turned and walked away briskly.
Annalise watched him walk away and hated herself for causing him pain, but she had other responsibilities that would have to come above his feelings.