Post by Meluivan Indil on Sept 12, 2005 12:51:40 GMT -5
Learn To Live
As the lights descended upon the auditorium Lily could see the figure in box 5. She constantly looked up, making sure he was still there. He did not leave. As the night progressed it became easier to concentrate on her performance and she began to truly enjoy herself with it.
Thunderous applause rolled through the auditorium as the curtain finally closed. Lily sighed in relief, and made her way to her dressing room. She did not want to celebrate with the others. Even though she had given her all in the performance, because he watched, she still felt the tug of guilt in her mind as she thought of her father watching her perform in Venice. She felt as if she was betraying him somehow.
She heard the click behind her as Erik entered through the mirror. “You were magnificent, Lily.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, holding a single white lily. It looked perfect, without any flaws, and had a red ribbon tied around the stem.
“It’s beautiful, Erik. Where did you get a lily this time of year?” She exclaimed taking the lily from him.
“I am growing them,” He whispered, “In a garden of the heart.”
It touched her that he would go to so much trouble to give her, her favorite flower. “Thank you, Erik.” She said softly sinking into the comfort of his arms.
They heard a loud rap on her door and a growling noise left her throat. “Can’t they ever leave me alone?”
“Mademoiselle. Please join us. It is a magnificent celebration.” She heard Chenard’s voice through the door.
She did not answer. She turned and walked past Erik, taking his hand and pulling him with her towards the mirror, as she placed a finger in front of her lips in a shushing motion.
He knew what she wanted. She wanted to escape. She wanted to go below, away from all of them. As they traveled the tunnels her steps became quicker until she was almost running. Once they had reached his lair she sat comfortably next to him at his organ, listening to him play.
“You really were exceptional tonight, Lily. I was completely enthralled.” Erik said as he played a haunting melody.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. It would not have been possible without you.” She said, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.
He stopped playing and stared at his sheet music. He knew he would have to say something to her soon. If not, he would be lost beyond all hope when she decided that she wanted something else in her life besides him.
“Lily, I wish you wouldn’t say things such as that.” He said gently pushing her head from his shoulder and turning to face her.
“Such as what?” She asked fearing the moment had come that he would reject her.
“I told you that you had to learn to live without me. I meant it. You are just making this harder on both of us. When you do decide you want more out of life, we will both be hurt.” He said, holding her away from him.
She stood and walked away from him a few paces. He stood and followed her but gave her the space she wanted. She whirled around and he saw the deep emotions raging across her face.
“I don’t ever want to learn to live without you, Erik.” She said, desperation in her voice.
Erik knew in his heart that if they continued upon the track they were on, there would come a time when she would decide to leave him, and that would break his heart more than he could bear. He had decided not to give her the opportunity to do so. It was time she faced the hard cold truth about him. They could no longer stay in the world in between love and friendship.
It had always been easier for him to express himself in song than in words, so he raised his voice to the song that echoed through his mind. Each word seemed to be punctuated, as if to drive them into her memory.
You say you don’t want to learn to live without me
But can you learn to live with the monster before you?
Can you learn to live with the figure of this beast?
Can you learn to live with the grotesque?
Could you learn to live with a face like this?
The last line slipped into a whisper as he slowly reached up sliding a hand below his mask removing it.
He did not look at her. He could not bear to see the horror on her face. He waited for the inevitable shocked gasp, or muffled scream. But it did not come.
Lily looked upon his disfigured face, and even though it broke her heart to see such damage on the one she loved, she did not balk. She slowly walked to him, standing within inches of him. She wanted to make her feelings clear so she too lifted her voice in song matching the stinted cadence of his own, as she looked up into his face.
You wonder if I can learn to live with a monster
But a monster I see not before me
You wonder if I can learn to live with the figure of a beast
But the only figure I see before me is the figure of love
You wonder if I can learn to live with the grotesque
But grotesque is not the soul of the man before me
You wonder if I can learn to live with this face
This face that has cruelly damaged your heart
But I wonder if I can learn to live without my own heart
Because to live without you would be the worst of any fate
She changed the tone of her song to a more soothing lilting tempo. She could see the look of wonder spreading across his face.
For before me I see only beauty
I see only beauty
I see a man who has suffered
For no sin of his own
I see a man whose song of beauty
Has made me whole
I see a man whom god has blessed
With the purest form of beauty
A precious beauty, the beauty of the soul
And to that man I say
I could not live without your love
“Erik, your face is just a piece of skin covering the man that I love inside. I don’t see a disfigured form. I see what my heart desires the most.” She said reaching up with trembling fingers to caress the scared portion of his cheek. She could see the tears forming in his eyes at her confession of love. But she had to pull back. She knew she was only setting herself up for heartbreak.
So she pulled away from him walking to the waters edge and turning to stare across the lake. He stared after her in confusion. She had just declared her love for him openly, but then turned from him.
“Lily, I don’t know what to say. What have I done wrong?” He asked, trying to discern her actions.
“You have done nothing wrong. But I have set myself up for a fall, and can find no way down without getting hurt.” She answered shaking her head in frustration.
“I would not hurt you for anything. Please, why would you think that?” He pleaded for her to make things clear.
“I know you wouldn’t, Erik. Not intentionally. But I also know you cannot love me the way I want. No matter how hard I try. No matter how much unconditional love I show you, I will never be Christine. You will never love me like you loved her.” Lily dropped her head letting the despair she felt in her heart overwhelm her.
He heard her words, and could not believe that she would feel that way. With her in his life Christine had become no more than a pleasant and haunting memory. Lily was real. Lily was there with him. She would not leave him. She would not betray him. Why would he love Christine more? He crossed over to stand behind her. He could see that her shoulders were trembling as she cried silently. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against him.
You fear my love for her
You think you know my heart
But you have missed my true passion
The passion only you could start
You think my love for her
Can compare to what is now
Precious lady, take my hand
Precious Lily, take a bow
For you have me ensnared,
You have made me whole
You are my heart’s desire
You now possess my soul
“Lily, I love you. I want only you.” He whispered into her ear.
She heard his song, and she heard his vow of love. How had she been so wrong? She turned to face him looking into his piecing green eyes. She saw his soul there laid bare for her. He was offering her everything she ever desired. “And I want only you, Erik.” She answered him. She tenderly reached up placing a kiss on his lips. This time there was no hesitation. No second thoughts. He wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the passion of the kiss, running his hands over the body he held, caressing every inch he could touch.
As the lights descended upon the auditorium Lily could see the figure in box 5. She constantly looked up, making sure he was still there. He did not leave. As the night progressed it became easier to concentrate on her performance and she began to truly enjoy herself with it.
Thunderous applause rolled through the auditorium as the curtain finally closed. Lily sighed in relief, and made her way to her dressing room. She did not want to celebrate with the others. Even though she had given her all in the performance, because he watched, she still felt the tug of guilt in her mind as she thought of her father watching her perform in Venice. She felt as if she was betraying him somehow.
She heard the click behind her as Erik entered through the mirror. “You were magnificent, Lily.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, holding a single white lily. It looked perfect, without any flaws, and had a red ribbon tied around the stem.
“It’s beautiful, Erik. Where did you get a lily this time of year?” She exclaimed taking the lily from him.
“I am growing them,” He whispered, “In a garden of the heart.”
It touched her that he would go to so much trouble to give her, her favorite flower. “Thank you, Erik.” She said softly sinking into the comfort of his arms.
They heard a loud rap on her door and a growling noise left her throat. “Can’t they ever leave me alone?”
“Mademoiselle. Please join us. It is a magnificent celebration.” She heard Chenard’s voice through the door.
She did not answer. She turned and walked past Erik, taking his hand and pulling him with her towards the mirror, as she placed a finger in front of her lips in a shushing motion.
He knew what she wanted. She wanted to escape. She wanted to go below, away from all of them. As they traveled the tunnels her steps became quicker until she was almost running. Once they had reached his lair she sat comfortably next to him at his organ, listening to him play.
“You really were exceptional tonight, Lily. I was completely enthralled.” Erik said as he played a haunting melody.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. It would not have been possible without you.” She said, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.
He stopped playing and stared at his sheet music. He knew he would have to say something to her soon. If not, he would be lost beyond all hope when she decided that she wanted something else in her life besides him.
“Lily, I wish you wouldn’t say things such as that.” He said gently pushing her head from his shoulder and turning to face her.
“Such as what?” She asked fearing the moment had come that he would reject her.
“I told you that you had to learn to live without me. I meant it. You are just making this harder on both of us. When you do decide you want more out of life, we will both be hurt.” He said, holding her away from him.
She stood and walked away from him a few paces. He stood and followed her but gave her the space she wanted. She whirled around and he saw the deep emotions raging across her face.
“I don’t ever want to learn to live without you, Erik.” She said, desperation in her voice.
Erik knew in his heart that if they continued upon the track they were on, there would come a time when she would decide to leave him, and that would break his heart more than he could bear. He had decided not to give her the opportunity to do so. It was time she faced the hard cold truth about him. They could no longer stay in the world in between love and friendship.
It had always been easier for him to express himself in song than in words, so he raised his voice to the song that echoed through his mind. Each word seemed to be punctuated, as if to drive them into her memory.
You say you don’t want to learn to live without me
But can you learn to live with the monster before you?
Can you learn to live with the figure of this beast?
Can you learn to live with the grotesque?
Could you learn to live with a face like this?
The last line slipped into a whisper as he slowly reached up sliding a hand below his mask removing it.
He did not look at her. He could not bear to see the horror on her face. He waited for the inevitable shocked gasp, or muffled scream. But it did not come.
Lily looked upon his disfigured face, and even though it broke her heart to see such damage on the one she loved, she did not balk. She slowly walked to him, standing within inches of him. She wanted to make her feelings clear so she too lifted her voice in song matching the stinted cadence of his own, as she looked up into his face.
You wonder if I can learn to live with a monster
But a monster I see not before me
You wonder if I can learn to live with the figure of a beast
But the only figure I see before me is the figure of love
You wonder if I can learn to live with the grotesque
But grotesque is not the soul of the man before me
You wonder if I can learn to live with this face
This face that has cruelly damaged your heart
But I wonder if I can learn to live without my own heart
Because to live without you would be the worst of any fate
She changed the tone of her song to a more soothing lilting tempo. She could see the look of wonder spreading across his face.
For before me I see only beauty
I see only beauty
I see a man who has suffered
For no sin of his own
I see a man whose song of beauty
Has made me whole
I see a man whom god has blessed
With the purest form of beauty
A precious beauty, the beauty of the soul
And to that man I say
I could not live without your love
“Erik, your face is just a piece of skin covering the man that I love inside. I don’t see a disfigured form. I see what my heart desires the most.” She said reaching up with trembling fingers to caress the scared portion of his cheek. She could see the tears forming in his eyes at her confession of love. But she had to pull back. She knew she was only setting herself up for heartbreak.
So she pulled away from him walking to the waters edge and turning to stare across the lake. He stared after her in confusion. She had just declared her love for him openly, but then turned from him.
“Lily, I don’t know what to say. What have I done wrong?” He asked, trying to discern her actions.
“You have done nothing wrong. But I have set myself up for a fall, and can find no way down without getting hurt.” She answered shaking her head in frustration.
“I would not hurt you for anything. Please, why would you think that?” He pleaded for her to make things clear.
“I know you wouldn’t, Erik. Not intentionally. But I also know you cannot love me the way I want. No matter how hard I try. No matter how much unconditional love I show you, I will never be Christine. You will never love me like you loved her.” Lily dropped her head letting the despair she felt in her heart overwhelm her.
He heard her words, and could not believe that she would feel that way. With her in his life Christine had become no more than a pleasant and haunting memory. Lily was real. Lily was there with him. She would not leave him. She would not betray him. Why would he love Christine more? He crossed over to stand behind her. He could see that her shoulders were trembling as she cried silently. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against him.
You fear my love for her
You think you know my heart
But you have missed my true passion
The passion only you could start
You think my love for her
Can compare to what is now
Precious lady, take my hand
Precious Lily, take a bow
For you have me ensnared,
You have made me whole
You are my heart’s desire
You now possess my soul
“Lily, I love you. I want only you.” He whispered into her ear.
She heard his song, and she heard his vow of love. How had she been so wrong? She turned to face him looking into his piecing green eyes. She saw his soul there laid bare for her. He was offering her everything she ever desired. “And I want only you, Erik.” She answered him. She tenderly reached up placing a kiss on his lips. This time there was no hesitation. No second thoughts. He wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the passion of the kiss, running his hands over the body he held, caressing every inch he could touch.