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Post by Meluivan Indil on Oct 3, 2008 9:52:40 GMT -5
Well, we are an odd pair. But seriously, you don't completely have to grow up to have kids. Look at me. I think I balance being a parental figure with being a best friend to my kids pretty well. I'm cool enough to share the same interests as my children, or rather pass mine own off to them but I still know when to be the tough mom too. And my kids aren't embarrased to bring their friends here since they have a half way cool mom. I told you what my mom was like and I rarely brought friends to my house when I was a kid. But I don't think I'll go into that here.
All that being said, you don't have to grow up completely to be a mom, and honestly I think it's better for the child/mom relationship if you don't.
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paintedmusic
Full Member
I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't I would die. -- Isaac Asimov
Posts: 124
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Post by paintedmusic on Oct 3, 2008 13:24:06 GMT -5
Hm, yeah, I see what you mean. My mom's cool, too... but she's not still a kiddie-type person. I can't explain it about her. It's because my whole family's very sarcastic, so there's no awkwardness. At least not much. I mean my friends have left my house nearly in tears from laughing so hard. One Saturday night, my dad was bothering me about something (jokingly), so I filled up a large cup of water and through it at him (the water, not the cup). The entire kitchen and dining room floors pooled with water -- while my dad went and locked himself in the bathroom so that I couldn't get him. With my friend cracking up so hard she was clutching her ribs, I laid in wait until he came out... and then dumped the entire thing all over him. Heh heh... So that's pretty much my household.
I have some definite ideas of how I want to be as a mother. I want to never get mad at my kids. I know that sounds like one of those dreams that never happens... which is entirely likely for me as well, but I have seen it, you know? I know it's POSSIBLE... so at least let me try for it. Where I'll have time for them, be patient with them, etc. Also have the fun that I have in my house. And make learning interesting for them, do things with them that are educational. I don't just want to sit them in front of a television just because I don't want to deal with them. I have a teacher who doesn't own a television.
When our class asked her how she deals with her kids, she told us that she just has to be willing to always have time for them. If she doesn't want them rotting their brains, she has to REPLACE that, not just erase it. Instead, she'll bake cookies with them, go to the park, etc. I want that sort of relationship with my kids.
What I'd like is to be able to take them to museums when they're little instead of amusement parks. My friends family was like that, and she said it was an amazing way to grow up. Of course, it all depends on what my kids like. I won't force them through the torture of a musem if they have no interest in it. But there are museums directed towards kids, so...
You see, I have very definite opinions on this. *chuckles*
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Post by Meluivan Indil on Oct 5, 2008 12:48:34 GMT -5
I'm pretty much some where in between the two types of parents you talked about. I spend time with my kids, but I also have my alone time too. I have to have my alone time or I'll just go nuts.
We do stuff together, and talk alot about different stuff, but my kids have alot of the same interests as me. So that works very well. Then again, you'll probably notice that kids need thier alone time too.
Ash shares my love of reading and writing.
We do have tvs but instead of just sitting them in front of it and turning it on, we choose stuff to watch together. Mostly movies and tv shows I have on dvd. Sometimes I watch cartoons with Allison if she wants. But most of the time when the tv is on I'm with them.
I tried the whole reading to them and Ashley reading too, but unfortunately her voice puts me to sleep almost immediately. Yeah, it's supposed to be the other way around, but nope, she knocks me out every time she reads.
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paintedmusic
Full Member
I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't I would die. -- Isaac Asimov
Posts: 124
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Post by paintedmusic on Oct 5, 2008 14:07:00 GMT -5
konnichi wa That's funny. When my older brother and I were little, my dad used to read us a chapter a night of the first and second Harry Potter books. He used to put himself to sleep. *chuckles* My brother and I would be lying on our stomachs on my brother's bed with my dad on the floor in front of it. We'd lean over his shoulders as he read, as if we wanted to see some non-existent pictures. *shrug* I don't know why we did that; I liked to see the words as he read them. After every couple of sentences, his voice would start to get garbled. (Maybe that's why we leaned over his shoulder -- so that we could still see what was written when his words became incomprehensible.) A few words later, he'd fall asleep. We would take turns poking and pinching him to wake up. It was so funny; we'd sit there and giggle as he continuously read, nodded off, read, nodded off. The moment we'd poke him, his head would jerk back up, and he'd start speaking again -- often not from where he left off, often not even from the same book altogether! *laughs* Ah, love such memories.
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Post by Meluivan Indil on Oct 6, 2008 15:40:58 GMT -5
Ashley read the entire HP series last year and I was helping her. She was getting tired of reading them, so I'd read some to her and then she'd read some. We'd both be curled up on my bed with Allison at the foot listening, but once Ash started I was a goner. She'd eventually just sneak out and let me sleep. We'd always make sure that I read my part first.
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paintedmusic
Full Member
I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't I would die. -- Isaac Asimov
Posts: 124
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Post by paintedmusic on Oct 6, 2008 18:12:31 GMT -5
Aw, that is really adorable. You know what I decided to do today? See, we have really amazing and wonderful teachers at my school. Not only do they teach, they love what they teach. Also, most of the female teachers -- and many male teachers as well now that I think about it -- somehow end up slipping in advice on how to raise kids. Well, not so much advice as they tell you what they do personally... and these things are just so amazing. So I decided today after one particular instance like that that I wanted to get a notebook to write down all these ideas so that I'll remember them. I'm going to add yours to it. It's just so sweet.
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