Post by StoriesThatNeverWere on Mar 13, 2007 11:01:17 GMT -5
The Song: Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls.
youtube.com/watch?v=SsK90GWBVLY <---- Click here to listen to the song "Iris" (Thank you, Mage!)
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the Goo Goo Dolls. All the characters are created by me. I'm making no monetary gain off of this fiction, and "Iris" is copyright the Goo Goo Dolls.
Author's Note: This is my first songfic, so I am very interested in knowing what you think about it. It is also the first time I have written from a male's point of view, and the first time I have written as an unreliable narrator. I apologize for the length, but my fingers and the keyboard enjoy each other's company!
~Song <3
________________________________________________________________________
Her hair was the creaseless waves of a red river, her eyes the music I dance to, her smile the drug that numbs my mind. Her face was painted by Van Gogh, with the peached, baby skin of a goddess and the cheeks of a newborn rose in early summer. But it was her ears I treasured most; these perfect semi-ovals with a tiny punctured gem on each lobe. They broaden her soft features, and compliment her in the many ways I used to. God, I love her.
Elizabeth... my Elizabeth... she was everything to me. Only a year ago, we were sitting in this diner, in the same booth she was now, whispering to each other and laughing about people from work. She had ordered a basket of onion rings, a hamburger, and a chocolate milkshake. She never cared about her weight, something polar opposite of the girls I used to date. But she never compared to them. They were foolish women without goals and only fishing at dreams. But my Elizabeth, she was strong and loving, yet determined. Only some of the qualities that made her perfect.
The counter was cold against my arms, and my feet constantly kicked the seat behind me. I was fidgeting. How couldn't I? I hadn't seen her at all yesterday. I can't imagine where she had gone. No matter, she was here. And I would never let her out of my sight again.
She looked more distraught then on Tuesday. Her head was supported by her right arm, which in turn was positioned on the table. She seemed to be tracing an invisible shape with her fingers, lost in a terrible thought or memory. Poor Elizabeth. Was she too struggling? Could she neither eat nor sleep after last month's tragedy? Of course. Because even though she denied it, she still loved me. She always loved me, and so, even when she refuses to take part, I will be the one who holds us together.
I stand from the spinning stool, and walk away from her, for only a moment. Yet I find myself halting, wanting to turn around, as though she will evaporate without my guard over her. Reassuring myself otherwise, I approach the neon-lighted jukebox, and spin through the list of songs. The specific song I was looking for took almost a minute to find. I smiled, forcing two quarters into the coin slot. She would cheer up immediately, I knew.
Just after the cents clinked into their bank, the acoustic sound of a guitar began. It was slightly upbeat, and stayed musical for 10 seconds. Then, the raspy sound of Elizabeth's favorite band, the Goo Goo Dolls, echoed from the juke box speakers.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Because I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
Against my every will, I did not turn to see her expression. She couldn't see me, not yet anyways. It would spoil the moment when I would reappear into her life, sweeping her from her sorrow, and holding her tightly when she needed it most.
I returned to the counter with my head low and bent from her view, lifting my burger, and nibbling at it unconsciously. Turning slowly, my eyes locked on her beauty. The long minute my pupils had been refused of her; it ached at me now. It was as though she was new to me again. I looked over her once more, feeling my love for her shift. It was a dying desire, hungry for her warmth, for her sugared voice.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Suddenly, it was as though a different picture had been placed in front of me, so quickly that it was uncatchable at first. My Elizabeth had not looked up from the table, she remained the statue of a concrete angel, cripple winged and grounded. Had she not heard our song? The song we moved with a year before, following our declaration of love? The night of our cruise, her in a sparkling midnight-shaded dress and myself in a black tuxedo especially expensive? A night I had created for her dreams, the evening where our fantasies became our realities.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
She still hadn't stirred at the chorus. I sympathized at once, knowing she was thinking of me. She had shattered her own heart along with my own. Our break up had been the one to end all. Her eyes on that chilled April day were empty, and only reflected myself, as though blocking out anything from seeping through. She barely spoke, and when she did, her voice was quiet and an octave higher. It had been so painful, and so false. She did not want us to end. What evil possessed her that day had played my worst fears for me to die over.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
No longer could I watch her face so new with sadness. It was time. But I would not go up to her immediately. No, that would be too much for her to take at a time like this. Besides, she would want an explanation as to my presence here. To tell her that I was always in her presence would certainly scare her at first. For now, it would be easier to lie. She would understand later, when we are together again.
I reached over the counter, and called quietly to a server. The brown haired male of 25 listened patiently to my request. Thankfully, he did not question. He merely nodded and went to order the drink. I leaned back, breathing easier, and bearing the grin of a man who had accomplished world peace. A cherry sprite with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a Hawaiian umbrella for a miniature person floating on a thin layer of ice cubes. Even as dazed as my Elizabeth was now, she could not possibly be inattentive to this desert. The specialty we ordered every week for a year; our symbol of sweetness, she would call it.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
I eyed the waiter as he entered the seating area from the kitchen. He balanced a tray in his palm, with the mug of a red soda centered atop. He reached table 3, and placed the float directly in front of my Elizabeth, blocking her staring contest with the marble surface. Her head cutely bobbed upright, returning to the present land she had temporarily forgotten. The waiter mumbled something, smiling briefly, then returned to his duties of $7.50 an hour.
My Elizabeth stared at the waiter walking away, as though he had just slapped her in the face. Then her eyes caught the drink in front of her. Immediately, her beautiful tanned skin ashened, and her juiced lips grew smaller under her teeth. Her hazel eyes widened in an expression that puzzled me; she was not happy, nor did any kind of enjoyment flash across her face. My Elizabeth looked up from her table, and scanned the counter by the bar. It was at that wonderful moment her eyes kissed mine.
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I grinned largely, so invigorated that she finally spotted me. I had pictured her reaction a million times, each different yet filled with the love impermanently lost for thirty days. However, none of my daydreams came to life before me. My Elizabeth grabbed her leather jacket from the seat, laid down a few dollar bills, then quickly made for the exit. I sat in dismay for a second's time, so confused as to her response. Why had she not hugged me? Ran up to me, and kissed me passionately, telling me she never wanted to be without me again?
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I stand from my stool, and run after her, calling her majestic name over and over. She had not exited the door when I grasp her arm. She turns to me with a stricken fear in her eyes. But why? She has no reason to fear me. She only has to love me.
"Elizabeth..."
"Kevin, stop it!" She stated quickly, attempted to pull her arm away. "Leave me alone!"
"Elizabeth, please don't run away. I only wish to talk to you." I respond in a hushed voice, slowly placing my finger to her jaw.
Yet, again, she pulls away. "Kevin, you will be arrested! Just stay away from me! I never want to see you again."
I just want you to know who I am.
I do not let go, but my feelings of love have started to boil. I recall this feeling, it occurred this same day a month previous. I squeeze tightly on her arm, and she yips in pain. "Elizabeth..." I am lost in her beauty, so much that the background has grown blurry. "I love you. And I know you love me!" Why couldn't she see this? Why did she hide from me, when we are destined for one another?
"I do not love you! Let go!" My Elizabeth manages to slip out of my grasp. She turns to leave the diner... to leave my life... to leave me behind...
The world is so dizzying and unfocused that I feel myself stumble forward. With love-forsaken hatred suddenly aroused, I grasp her shoulder tightly and spin her towards me. She opens her mouth to once again say she doesn't love me. No! She mustn't say it again! My hands reached for her neck and my nails unclench to meet her flesh. I crunched tightly, desperate for her to not say another word.
I just want you to know who I am.
I can hardly see her now. She is fading. No! She cannot! I grip tightly, and feel lopsided as my knees meet the floor. Boxes of black and white flash around me. My Elizabeth is on the floor underneath me. Her face has blued and her arms flail. How dare she try to escape me! The man she loves! She continues to not speak; she cannot now. Good girl.
Suddenly, I am broken from her by pairs of octopus limbs. They reached from every direction and flip me wildly through the air. My hands are forced off Elizabeth. No! I must touch her! But sudden weights equal to anvils are placed atop my back, and my face becomes a part of the tiles below. So out-of-focus everything has become; I hear exhaling... coughing... the screaming of a woman; is it my Elizabeth? Are they hurting her?
"Elizabeth!" I call hopelessly. I need to save her. She needs me!
"Elizabeth..." the world is fading, with all colors meshed together, and no boundaries set. I can't find my breath. "Elizabeth... My Elizabeth..." I whisper hoarsely with all I can spare. The final second before it all disappears, I see her. Her hand is on her heart, and her chest rises and falls too quickly. She needs me. She needs... needs... needs...
I just want you to know who I am.
youtube.com/watch?v=SsK90GWBVLY <---- Click here to listen to the song "Iris" (Thank you, Mage!)
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the Goo Goo Dolls. All the characters are created by me. I'm making no monetary gain off of this fiction, and "Iris" is copyright the Goo Goo Dolls.
Author's Note: This is my first songfic, so I am very interested in knowing what you think about it. It is also the first time I have written from a male's point of view, and the first time I have written as an unreliable narrator. I apologize for the length, but my fingers and the keyboard enjoy each other's company!
~Song <3
________________________________________________________________________
Her hair was the creaseless waves of a red river, her eyes the music I dance to, her smile the drug that numbs my mind. Her face was painted by Van Gogh, with the peached, baby skin of a goddess and the cheeks of a newborn rose in early summer. But it was her ears I treasured most; these perfect semi-ovals with a tiny punctured gem on each lobe. They broaden her soft features, and compliment her in the many ways I used to. God, I love her.
Elizabeth... my Elizabeth... she was everything to me. Only a year ago, we were sitting in this diner, in the same booth she was now, whispering to each other and laughing about people from work. She had ordered a basket of onion rings, a hamburger, and a chocolate milkshake. She never cared about her weight, something polar opposite of the girls I used to date. But she never compared to them. They were foolish women without goals and only fishing at dreams. But my Elizabeth, she was strong and loving, yet determined. Only some of the qualities that made her perfect.
The counter was cold against my arms, and my feet constantly kicked the seat behind me. I was fidgeting. How couldn't I? I hadn't seen her at all yesterday. I can't imagine where she had gone. No matter, she was here. And I would never let her out of my sight again.
She looked more distraught then on Tuesday. Her head was supported by her right arm, which in turn was positioned on the table. She seemed to be tracing an invisible shape with her fingers, lost in a terrible thought or memory. Poor Elizabeth. Was she too struggling? Could she neither eat nor sleep after last month's tragedy? Of course. Because even though she denied it, she still loved me. She always loved me, and so, even when she refuses to take part, I will be the one who holds us together.
I stand from the spinning stool, and walk away from her, for only a moment. Yet I find myself halting, wanting to turn around, as though she will evaporate without my guard over her. Reassuring myself otherwise, I approach the neon-lighted jukebox, and spin through the list of songs. The specific song I was looking for took almost a minute to find. I smiled, forcing two quarters into the coin slot. She would cheer up immediately, I knew.
Just after the cents clinked into their bank, the acoustic sound of a guitar began. It was slightly upbeat, and stayed musical for 10 seconds. Then, the raspy sound of Elizabeth's favorite band, the Goo Goo Dolls, echoed from the juke box speakers.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Because I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
Against my every will, I did not turn to see her expression. She couldn't see me, not yet anyways. It would spoil the moment when I would reappear into her life, sweeping her from her sorrow, and holding her tightly when she needed it most.
I returned to the counter with my head low and bent from her view, lifting my burger, and nibbling at it unconsciously. Turning slowly, my eyes locked on her beauty. The long minute my pupils had been refused of her; it ached at me now. It was as though she was new to me again. I looked over her once more, feeling my love for her shift. It was a dying desire, hungry for her warmth, for her sugared voice.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Suddenly, it was as though a different picture had been placed in front of me, so quickly that it was uncatchable at first. My Elizabeth had not looked up from the table, she remained the statue of a concrete angel, cripple winged and grounded. Had she not heard our song? The song we moved with a year before, following our declaration of love? The night of our cruise, her in a sparkling midnight-shaded dress and myself in a black tuxedo especially expensive? A night I had created for her dreams, the evening where our fantasies became our realities.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
She still hadn't stirred at the chorus. I sympathized at once, knowing she was thinking of me. She had shattered her own heart along with my own. Our break up had been the one to end all. Her eyes on that chilled April day were empty, and only reflected myself, as though blocking out anything from seeping through. She barely spoke, and when she did, her voice was quiet and an octave higher. It had been so painful, and so false. She did not want us to end. What evil possessed her that day had played my worst fears for me to die over.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
No longer could I watch her face so new with sadness. It was time. But I would not go up to her immediately. No, that would be too much for her to take at a time like this. Besides, she would want an explanation as to my presence here. To tell her that I was always in her presence would certainly scare her at first. For now, it would be easier to lie. She would understand later, when we are together again.
I reached over the counter, and called quietly to a server. The brown haired male of 25 listened patiently to my request. Thankfully, he did not question. He merely nodded and went to order the drink. I leaned back, breathing easier, and bearing the grin of a man who had accomplished world peace. A cherry sprite with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a Hawaiian umbrella for a miniature person floating on a thin layer of ice cubes. Even as dazed as my Elizabeth was now, she could not possibly be inattentive to this desert. The specialty we ordered every week for a year; our symbol of sweetness, she would call it.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
I eyed the waiter as he entered the seating area from the kitchen. He balanced a tray in his palm, with the mug of a red soda centered atop. He reached table 3, and placed the float directly in front of my Elizabeth, blocking her staring contest with the marble surface. Her head cutely bobbed upright, returning to the present land she had temporarily forgotten. The waiter mumbled something, smiling briefly, then returned to his duties of $7.50 an hour.
My Elizabeth stared at the waiter walking away, as though he had just slapped her in the face. Then her eyes caught the drink in front of her. Immediately, her beautiful tanned skin ashened, and her juiced lips grew smaller under her teeth. Her hazel eyes widened in an expression that puzzled me; she was not happy, nor did any kind of enjoyment flash across her face. My Elizabeth looked up from her table, and scanned the counter by the bar. It was at that wonderful moment her eyes kissed mine.
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I grinned largely, so invigorated that she finally spotted me. I had pictured her reaction a million times, each different yet filled with the love impermanently lost for thirty days. However, none of my daydreams came to life before me. My Elizabeth grabbed her leather jacket from the seat, laid down a few dollar bills, then quickly made for the exit. I sat in dismay for a second's time, so confused as to her response. Why had she not hugged me? Ran up to me, and kissed me passionately, telling me she never wanted to be without me again?
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I stand from my stool, and run after her, calling her majestic name over and over. She had not exited the door when I grasp her arm. She turns to me with a stricken fear in her eyes. But why? She has no reason to fear me. She only has to love me.
"Elizabeth..."
"Kevin, stop it!" She stated quickly, attempted to pull her arm away. "Leave me alone!"
"Elizabeth, please don't run away. I only wish to talk to you." I respond in a hushed voice, slowly placing my finger to her jaw.
Yet, again, she pulls away. "Kevin, you will be arrested! Just stay away from me! I never want to see you again."
I just want you to know who I am.
I do not let go, but my feelings of love have started to boil. I recall this feeling, it occurred this same day a month previous. I squeeze tightly on her arm, and she yips in pain. "Elizabeth..." I am lost in her beauty, so much that the background has grown blurry. "I love you. And I know you love me!" Why couldn't she see this? Why did she hide from me, when we are destined for one another?
"I do not love you! Let go!" My Elizabeth manages to slip out of my grasp. She turns to leave the diner... to leave my life... to leave me behind...
The world is so dizzying and unfocused that I feel myself stumble forward. With love-forsaken hatred suddenly aroused, I grasp her shoulder tightly and spin her towards me. She opens her mouth to once again say she doesn't love me. No! She mustn't say it again! My hands reached for her neck and my nails unclench to meet her flesh. I crunched tightly, desperate for her to not say another word.
I just want you to know who I am.
I can hardly see her now. She is fading. No! She cannot! I grip tightly, and feel lopsided as my knees meet the floor. Boxes of black and white flash around me. My Elizabeth is on the floor underneath me. Her face has blued and her arms flail. How dare she try to escape me! The man she loves! She continues to not speak; she cannot now. Good girl.
Suddenly, I am broken from her by pairs of octopus limbs. They reached from every direction and flip me wildly through the air. My hands are forced off Elizabeth. No! I must touch her! But sudden weights equal to anvils are placed atop my back, and my face becomes a part of the tiles below. So out-of-focus everything has become; I hear exhaling... coughing... the screaming of a woman; is it my Elizabeth? Are they hurting her?
"Elizabeth!" I call hopelessly. I need to save her. She needs me!
"Elizabeth..." the world is fading, with all colors meshed together, and no boundaries set. I can't find my breath. "Elizabeth... My Elizabeth..." I whisper hoarsely with all I can spare. The final second before it all disappears, I see her. Her hand is on her heart, and her chest rises and falls too quickly. She needs me. She needs... needs... needs...
I just want you to know who I am.
I just love it so much. You've done an absolutely fantastic job. I know who I'm voting for. 