Post by chibinaru on Nov 29, 2005 17:58:33 GMT -5
Not as random as my other stories, but humor nontheless. And it's not a one-shot! Gasp. I had a really hard time coming up with a summary for this one. Basically, I'm making Ed do alot of jobs for the sake of humor. And I like to pick on him. :3
Thanks to amaya for the idea! I was on a fanfiction high and nearly smashed my head through the computer because I couldn't come up with an idea. Gah.
Rating- T
Spoilers- As of now, no
Warnings- Nothing, really. I actually didn't spaz and tried to keep the characters in character this time!
Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. It would rain sugar and crack if I did.
Haaaaaaave fun.
---
Stretched lethargically across the red lounging sofa, a young boy with a hand raised began to draw invisible designs in the air with his finger. All was silent, except for the transparent blue water cooler next to the wooden door, which made random bubbling noises every few minutes. It became rhythmic and the blond alchemist had gotten used to it after awhile. It blended into his thoughts, creating an even lazier setting. Today, Central was just blah.
A firm, stern knock echoed through the hollow lounge room. Ed emitted a small shriek, the knock interrupting whatever he was thinking. He sighed sluggishly and began to twirl his finger in the air again. “Come in.”
The door creaked and a blond woman clad in a blue uniform stood in the doorway. Edward, immediately seeing who his visitor was, became tense. He gritted his teeth slightly in order to hide his frustrated expectation, but did a mighty poor job of doing it. It wasn’t Lt. Hawkeye that irked him, it was what she wanted.
“Hello, Lieutenant,” Ed drawled, obviously bored. “You need something?”
“The Colonel would like to---” Hawkeye began.
“--- see me in his office. Whoa-ho, what a shock.” Ed slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. He yawned.
Hawkeye was used to Ed’s smart remarks by now and dismissed it, but not without a mental roll of her eyes. She liked Ed, he was a good kid. But man, could he be snippy. Sometimes he acted like he ran the place, resulting in certain tragic incidents involving Roy, an elderly woman, and a wet hair dryer.
Riza began to high tail it out of the doorway. “Exactly. I trust you’ll actually make it down there this time? Or do I need to send a babysitter?”
“That won’t be necessary, thank you very much.” Ed replied, grinning. Hawkeye returned his reply with a shy but warning grin and left.
With one last stretch of his arms, Edward left the lounge room and began to walk down the hallway, boots clacking with every small step. He began to mutter to himself, achieving some strange glares from other military members, which wasn’t surprising. No one dared to even stop and stare for fear of the wrath of Mighty Edward. So they walked on, much quicker than usual.
Ed’s conversation with himself continued until he reached the Colonel’s door. He shoved it open, burst through, and began walking nonchalantly over to the desk. He stood at the desk and looked up at the black haired man who had been lounging himself in his chair, eyes half open. The man took one look down at Edward, his expression barely changing.
“So,” Ed replied, crossing his arms. “Did you need something? Polish your shoes? Do your paperwork? Fill the candy dish?”
“Watch that tongue of yours, Fullmetal,” Colonel Roy Mustang replied. “We don’t want any more ‘incidents’.”
Ed growled. “That was ONE time! ONE time! Do you want me here or not?”
Roy began to tap his fingers metrically on his desk. Ed became mesmerized by them and spaced out. The Colonel glanced over at Ed’s glazed golden eyes. “Fullmetal… Fullmetal!”
“What?” Ed shouted, snapping out of it and glaring at him.
“You should really get that ADD checked,” Roy replied, smirking when he saw Ed tense. “Anyway, I have a favor to ask of you. Well, it’s not a favor per se, more like an order.”
“Yeah, that’s nothing new.” Ed muttered. Roy smacked him on the head firmly with a pile of non-signed paperwork. “HEY! You can’t do that! That’s gotta be violating a rule somewhere!”
Roy continued. “As I was saying, I have an order for you. There’s a small bakery downtown, perhaps you’ve seen it. It recently had to lay off a few of its workers due to major budget cuts. They’re a little short on help right now and asked me to help out.”
“So, go. Don’t let me stop ya.” Ed mouthed and again received a firm slap to the head. “COLONEL!”
“Unfortunately, I can’t go. I have to stay here, and, well…” Roy gestured to the mounds of formalities piling up in the room.
Ed stopped rubbing his head. He paused and looked slyly out of the corner of his eye at Roy. “Oooh, no… I know what you’re thinking! If you even ONCE think I’m going to be a baker—a BAKER, of all things—think again! There’s no way…!”
“Well then, what do you propose I do?” Roy crossed his hands under his chin. There was no way he would let Ed back out of this one and he knew it.
Ed sputtered uncontrollably. “G-Get someone else! Someone who actually knows how to cook! Colonel, I burn soup! There’s no way I’m going to work at a public bakery! Someone else… Someone trustworthy…! Lt. Havoc! Get him to do it!”
Roy raised an eyebrow and replied flatly, “Are you serious?”
Edward’s mouth was agape as he tried to come up with a better excuse. He was stuttering and trying to think of anything to avoid doing the job. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind. Ed was backed into a corner and he knew that Mustang just loved to push his buttons. He hated that smirk Mustang always had when he thought he had done so. He’d show him.
The young alchemist instantly went from confused and angry to composed and cool. He tried to hide behind the mask and crossed his arms. He cleared his throat. “So… You don’t think I can do it, is that it?”
Bingo. “Of course not!” Roy mock-gasped. “Why, I can’t believe you’d think such a thing!”
“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Ed replied sharply, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re just watching and waiting for me to fall flat on my face. Yes you are. Don’t give me that look!”
Roy grinned to himself. “Well, I mean, if you think you really can do it, far be it from me to stop a man on a mission…”
Ed was becoming agitated with Roy’s sarcasm. Just the thought of seeing Roy there ticked him off. He thought he was so great; a big, powerful Colonel who rules over his minions… Edward wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Think you’re all big and bad, don’tcha?” the blond snapped and began to use over-exaggerated hand gestures. “Think that no one else can do anything but you! I’m gonna knock you off your frigging high horse! Then we’ll see who’s laughing!”
In a huff and all riled up, Edward stomped to the giant door, grabbed it, and slammed it as hard as he could. It echoed immensely off the slick walls.
“Oh, yes we will…” Mustang replied to himself, shifting through a new set of ‘orders’ for his victim. “Yes we will.”
Thanks to amaya for the idea! I was on a fanfiction high and nearly smashed my head through the computer because I couldn't come up with an idea. Gah.
Rating- T
Spoilers- As of now, no
Warnings- Nothing, really. I actually didn't spaz and tried to keep the characters in character this time!
Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. It would rain sugar and crack if I did.
Haaaaaaave fun.
---
Stretched lethargically across the red lounging sofa, a young boy with a hand raised began to draw invisible designs in the air with his finger. All was silent, except for the transparent blue water cooler next to the wooden door, which made random bubbling noises every few minutes. It became rhythmic and the blond alchemist had gotten used to it after awhile. It blended into his thoughts, creating an even lazier setting. Today, Central was just blah.
A firm, stern knock echoed through the hollow lounge room. Ed emitted a small shriek, the knock interrupting whatever he was thinking. He sighed sluggishly and began to twirl his finger in the air again. “Come in.”
The door creaked and a blond woman clad in a blue uniform stood in the doorway. Edward, immediately seeing who his visitor was, became tense. He gritted his teeth slightly in order to hide his frustrated expectation, but did a mighty poor job of doing it. It wasn’t Lt. Hawkeye that irked him, it was what she wanted.
“Hello, Lieutenant,” Ed drawled, obviously bored. “You need something?”
“The Colonel would like to---” Hawkeye began.
“--- see me in his office. Whoa-ho, what a shock.” Ed slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. He yawned.
Hawkeye was used to Ed’s smart remarks by now and dismissed it, but not without a mental roll of her eyes. She liked Ed, he was a good kid. But man, could he be snippy. Sometimes he acted like he ran the place, resulting in certain tragic incidents involving Roy, an elderly woman, and a wet hair dryer.
Riza began to high tail it out of the doorway. “Exactly. I trust you’ll actually make it down there this time? Or do I need to send a babysitter?”
“That won’t be necessary, thank you very much.” Ed replied, grinning. Hawkeye returned his reply with a shy but warning grin and left.
With one last stretch of his arms, Edward left the lounge room and began to walk down the hallway, boots clacking with every small step. He began to mutter to himself, achieving some strange glares from other military members, which wasn’t surprising. No one dared to even stop and stare for fear of the wrath of Mighty Edward. So they walked on, much quicker than usual.
Ed’s conversation with himself continued until he reached the Colonel’s door. He shoved it open, burst through, and began walking nonchalantly over to the desk. He stood at the desk and looked up at the black haired man who had been lounging himself in his chair, eyes half open. The man took one look down at Edward, his expression barely changing.
“So,” Ed replied, crossing his arms. “Did you need something? Polish your shoes? Do your paperwork? Fill the candy dish?”
“Watch that tongue of yours, Fullmetal,” Colonel Roy Mustang replied. “We don’t want any more ‘incidents’.”
Ed growled. “That was ONE time! ONE time! Do you want me here or not?”
Roy began to tap his fingers metrically on his desk. Ed became mesmerized by them and spaced out. The Colonel glanced over at Ed’s glazed golden eyes. “Fullmetal… Fullmetal!”
“What?” Ed shouted, snapping out of it and glaring at him.
“You should really get that ADD checked,” Roy replied, smirking when he saw Ed tense. “Anyway, I have a favor to ask of you. Well, it’s not a favor per se, more like an order.”
“Yeah, that’s nothing new.” Ed muttered. Roy smacked him on the head firmly with a pile of non-signed paperwork. “HEY! You can’t do that! That’s gotta be violating a rule somewhere!”
Roy continued. “As I was saying, I have an order for you. There’s a small bakery downtown, perhaps you’ve seen it. It recently had to lay off a few of its workers due to major budget cuts. They’re a little short on help right now and asked me to help out.”
“So, go. Don’t let me stop ya.” Ed mouthed and again received a firm slap to the head. “COLONEL!”
“Unfortunately, I can’t go. I have to stay here, and, well…” Roy gestured to the mounds of formalities piling up in the room.
Ed stopped rubbing his head. He paused and looked slyly out of the corner of his eye at Roy. “Oooh, no… I know what you’re thinking! If you even ONCE think I’m going to be a baker—a BAKER, of all things—think again! There’s no way…!”
“Well then, what do you propose I do?” Roy crossed his hands under his chin. There was no way he would let Ed back out of this one and he knew it.
Ed sputtered uncontrollably. “G-Get someone else! Someone who actually knows how to cook! Colonel, I burn soup! There’s no way I’m going to work at a public bakery! Someone else… Someone trustworthy…! Lt. Havoc! Get him to do it!”
Roy raised an eyebrow and replied flatly, “Are you serious?”
Edward’s mouth was agape as he tried to come up with a better excuse. He was stuttering and trying to think of anything to avoid doing the job. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind. Ed was backed into a corner and he knew that Mustang just loved to push his buttons. He hated that smirk Mustang always had when he thought he had done so. He’d show him.
The young alchemist instantly went from confused and angry to composed and cool. He tried to hide behind the mask and crossed his arms. He cleared his throat. “So… You don’t think I can do it, is that it?”
Bingo. “Of course not!” Roy mock-gasped. “Why, I can’t believe you’d think such a thing!”
“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Ed replied sharply, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re just watching and waiting for me to fall flat on my face. Yes you are. Don’t give me that look!”
Roy grinned to himself. “Well, I mean, if you think you really can do it, far be it from me to stop a man on a mission…”
Ed was becoming agitated with Roy’s sarcasm. Just the thought of seeing Roy there ticked him off. He thought he was so great; a big, powerful Colonel who rules over his minions… Edward wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Think you’re all big and bad, don’tcha?” the blond snapped and began to use over-exaggerated hand gestures. “Think that no one else can do anything but you! I’m gonna knock you off your frigging high horse! Then we’ll see who’s laughing!”
In a huff and all riled up, Edward stomped to the giant door, grabbed it, and slammed it as hard as he could. It echoed immensely off the slick walls.
“Oh, yes we will…” Mustang replied to himself, shifting through a new set of ‘orders’ for his victim. “Yes we will.”