For the Worst
Chapter 4
by LadyRiona
The month was May, a few days after that startling news being dropped in the Rockbell house. It was Sunday. To be exact, it was Mother’s Day Sunday. Most of the Rockbells (save Pinako who had stayed home with Trisha) and the two Elric boys were just returning from church, still in nice clothing. Upon entering the house, Alphonse rushed to the room where his mother was staying. In his hands was a small, crude craft he’d made in his class, along with Winry and, reluctantly, Ed. The latter two of the trio entered without as much enthusiasm as the younger boy, followed by Winry’s parents.
Even though it was coming up on a week after learning that Trisha had very little time to live, no one really wanted to accept it, least of all Edward. They hadn’t told Al yet; no one had had the heart to do it. Winry only knew because she’d insisted upon staying with Edward while Mrs. Rockbell had explained what she knew about Trisha’s illness. No; no one wanted to accept it but Edward’s reason for not wanting to was far greater than anyone else.
He was waiting for an apology. His mother wouldn’t die without apologizing to him. He wouldn’t let her. He’d keep her alive with all he had just to hear her utter those few words, making things better. It was the only thing he wanted.
“What would you two like for lunch? Winry, Edward?” Mrs. Rockbell placed her hands on their shoulders, smiling.
Winry seemed to mull it over. Edward stared at the wall in front of him, clutching the cardboard heart embellished with shiny plastic and ribbons close to his chest, as though trying to place it over his own broken heart. On Winry’s, she’d written “I love Mom”. Edward had written nothing, not sure what he felt for his mother anymore.
“Can we have stew?” Winry asked, looking up at her mother hopefully.
Mrs. Rockbell seemed to think, as well. On her face was the same expression of consideration Winry had just worn moments ago. “I suppose we can do that. What do you think, Edward?” She turned a smile down at Ed, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He hadn’t let her look at his bruises so she was always careful when she touched him.
With a frown, Edward pulled out of Mrs. Rockbell’s grasp. “Stew is fine,” he mumbled, walking off slowly. He could feel Winry’s and her mother’s eyes on him as he left the kitchen. Ed was halfway to the living room, heading toward the stairs when Winry caught up with him. She placed her small hand on his shoulder to stop him. Ed didn’t fight her gentle grasp.
“Aren’t you going to give that to your mom?” she asked him, poking her finger toward the small heart in his hands.
Edward stared at the small project in his hands with distaste. He was tempted to throw it on the ground. “No,” he mumbled, pulling away from Winry carefully. “She won’t like it.” And without waiting for Winry’s response to that, Ed ran off to the living room, up the stairs, and into the room that served for a library. The door slammed shortly after.
Still in the hallway, Winry stood with her hands clutched at her sides. Tears filled her sapphire blue eyes, even though she tried her hardest not to weep. She kept telling herself not to be hurt by Edward’s actions, that he’d already been hurt by another. Still, she couldn’t help it as her vision blurred. The small sequins that had fallen off of Edward’s heart became shining smudges on the floor, occasionally dotting the wood planks.
Within a few moments, Winry felt her father pick her up carefully. Winry clung to his shoulders, crying into his shirt. Her father, seemingly unsure why his daughter was crying, rubbed her back gently. Winry was far from soothed, however. Instead, she sniffed loudly against her father’s shoulder before managing to cough a little.
“Daddy, when will Edward be happy again?” she cried softly. “He’s so sad.”
Her words caused Mr. Rockbell to pause for a moment. Moments later, he took her into the kitchen and set her down at the table. Without saying anything yet, he wiped her tears away with a small handkerchief. When her face was dry, Mr. Rockbell remained on his knees before her.
“I don’t know when he’ll be happy again, Winry,” he told her slowly, taking her small hands into his larger ones. “But you can help him, can’t you? You can make him happy again, Winry.” Mr. Rockbell smiled at his daughter before letting go of one of her hands to run his finger down her nose gently.
Winry nodded, sniffling still. A small smile touched her mouth when her father took her hands again. “What should I do, though?” she asked in a small voice. The look she gave her father was so intense, speaking clearly of her will to help her best friend. Mr. Rockbell had to smile.
Gently, he took his hands away from hers once more and tipped her chin up as he stood. “Do whatever you can for him, Winry. Just never give up on him. Never.”
Winry looked at her father seriously, digesting these words, committing them to memory. “Never,” she repeated in a whisper. Her expression changed to one of determination as she nodded at her father.
With that new resolve in her mind, Winry scooted off the chair and quickly ran to her room, picking up sequins on the floor on her way. By the time she passed the library door, she had a fair amount of them in her hands. She placed them on her desk, careful not to let any of them drop to the floor.
She was going to help Ed, and to start with it, they were going to finish his heart.
- - -
It was sometime later when Winry had managed to work herself up to speaking to Edward. The smell of stew filled the house already, beckoning everyone downstairs. Everyone, that is, except Edward and Winry. She knew he wouldn’t come down until someone forced him, usually by carrying him down to the table. Even though he loved to eat, recently he hadn’t had that much of an appetite. That worried Winry; even with her six-year-old mind, she was able to digest that knowledge and understand that something was wrong. What that ‘something’ was, exactly, she didn’t quite know yet…
Voices echoed up the hall from the stairway when Winry stepped out of her room. She was wearing one of her usual flower-print dresses. Winry carefully held the embellishments from Ed’s heart in her right hand, using her left to shut her bedroom door.
Winry was nervous. She hoped that Edward wouldn’t tell her to leave, not when she just wanted to help him. So it was with much hesitance that she knocked on the door to the library, waiting for any response within. A few more moments passed until Winry knocked once again.
“Edward?” Winry’s voice was small and a little uneasy as she opened the door to the library.
Before she was able to open the door more than a few inches, it was suddenly yanked open from within. Winry, still holding tightly to the shiny flecks from Ed’s heart, was pulled forward into the room. She bumped bodily into Alphonse, who looked as startled as she to have run into her suddenly.
Al was the first to speak, rubbing his head a little with a naïve smile on his face. “Sorry, Winry!” he said before running past her and down the stairs without giving her a chance to reply.
Winry watched Al until his lightly colored hair disappeared down the stairs. When he was no longer in sight, Winry turned her head to look inside the library. Edward was sitting in the far corner of the room, his nose pressed in a book. He still looked vaguely upset, but Winry wasn’t quite sure if that wasn’t a permanent look for Edward now.
Very slowly, the young blond girl entered the library, hesitant to even speak to the person sitting a few feet away from her. She sighed quietly as she crossed the floor, watching her feet and counting each footstep until she saw the legs of Edward’s chair at the top of her line of vision. When she lifted her head, it was to see Edward still reading that book. It was an alchemy book. There weren’t very many in the house but Pinako had kept them as gifts from Ed and Al’s father. Winry wondered if Ed knew that…
“Edward?” Yet again, as she spoke his name, her voice was stifled, a little edgy sounding. Why did it seem so difficult to talk to her lifelong friend?
It took a few moments of patiently waiting, but Edward eventually lifted his head. His gold eyes, formerly filled with the fire of life, seemed subdued and a little smothered. There was something cold about them. Still, Winry didn’t look away from him. Instead, even as he looked back in his book, she stood her ground.
“Edward, lunch is ready,” she told him, putting her empty hand on the top of the book, slowly lowering it a bit. “Then I have an idea.” Hopefully a smile would help him because Winry gave him her best curling of lips. Still, even with the thought of the unknown, something Edward used to hate hanging above his head, he only stared at Winry. “After we eat, how about we fix your heart? You lost some of it when you ran away earlier.”
Then, as if expecting Edward to agree immediately upon seeing the pieces, Winry thrust out her hand and unfolded her fingers. Different colored sequins stuck to her fingers and palm from the warmth and sweat that had formed in her closed hand. Ed merely looked at her hand for a few moments before turning his attention back to the book.
Only a little daunted, Winry sighed. “Please, Ed? I want to help you. We can make it pretty together so your mom will like it.” Carefully, she pushed her hand under his nose so he was forced to look at the sparkling pieces of plastic. “It’ll be fun.”
“Winry! Edward!” Mrs. Rockbell was yelling up the stairs for them. “Lunch is ready; come down to eat!”
Winry looked at her friend hopefully, searching for any sign of the Edward that had been there just a few months ago. She wanted to see the strong friend on which she’d known she could rely. She continued searching for him even as he walked away from her yet again, as they ate lunch, and as he finally agreed to work with her to put his heart back together.
Where was Edward?