Post by livnaravul on Nov 12, 2005 11:13:02 GMT -5
WARNING: SPOILERS
There once was a kid called Harry
Who who made a bit of a barry
He killed Voldemort
Who then was distraught
So grumped at the kid called Harry
Now for the fic!
There’s a new minister for magic! The wizarding world is happy!
Dumbledore uses Harry to convince a sofa to become a teacher.
While the Order tries to decide how they feel about this Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour walked into the room and Bill says
“Guess what? We’re getting married!”
Molly Weasley promptly faints in horror.
Meanwhile, in the corner, Tonks pines over Lupin- her Patronus is now presumably a werewolf.
In the other corner, Ron and Hermione made eyes at each other.
Harry realises he’s over Sirius’ death.
A BIT OF PLOT:
Snape promises to do Draco’s job if Draco can’t.
NO MORE PLOT
Back at school, the sofa turns out to be teaching Potions and Snape is teaching Defence- Harry gets given the HBP’s old Potions book- he thinks: cooool.
Harry realises he fancies Ginny who is dating Dean.
Ron and Hermione do their best to make each other jealous by dating Lavendar Brown and an overly aggressive Quidditch keeper respectively.
Harry and Ginny get together.
Dumbledore shows Harry memories of Mouldy Voldie, and reveals that he has always been an evil psychopath and has no real reason for his homicidal tendencies.
Hagrid gets huffy.
NOW FOR SOME PLOT:
Harry finds out from the sofa that Voldemort has separated his soul into seven pieces and so to destroy Voldie he has to destroy the objects the soul is attached to.
NO MORE PLOT
Draco cries in the toilet to Moaning Myrtle.
Harry almost kills Draco cos he doesn’t think that ‘Sectumsempra’ sounds like a nasty curse (ahem… sectum? Dissect? Hurm….)
A BIT OF PLOT:
DUMBledore takes Harry to a sea of dead people to get a locket which turns out to be useless (presumably made useless by Regulus Black?), in the process, DUMBledore poisons himself.
Upon returning to Hogwarts, DUMBledore wastes his time freezing Harry so Draco takes his (DUMBledore’s) wand and when he can’t kill him Snape does cos he made an unbreakable vow (of which DUMBledore knew).
Harry thinks Snape is evil.
NO MORE PLOT
Bill was attacked by a werewolf in human form; Fleur still wants to marry him despite him being uglified.
Molly Weasley promptly faints with happiness.
Tonks pines AT Remus saying ‘see?’ Bill was attacked by a werewolf, Fleur wants to still marry him though! Why can’t we be together?
Remus points out that it’s a bit different as he actually IS a werewolf.
Molly Weasley says he’s being silly.
Ron and Hermione are presumably a couple.
Dumbledore’s funeral is suitably dramatic.
They go home.
Oh yeah, by the way, Severus Snape is the Half Blood Prince.
THE END
All that plot packed into just 607 pages! Wow! Talk about skill!
SORRY but I am seriously unimpressed, I’ve read better fanfiction. Books one to four were good and then it sucked. I mean OOTP- why couldn’t Dumbledore have just told Harry the prophecy in book four and Sirius die in book three? Because that is flat out all the happened in that one. Anyone agree? Disagree? Let me know, I welcome any and all comments and arguments. Someone convince me otherwise!
Edit: Warning added by Anime Monster
There once was a kid called Harry
Who who made a bit of a barry
He killed Voldemort
Who then was distraught
So grumped at the kid called Harry
Now for the fic!
There’s a new minister for magic! The wizarding world is happy!
Dumbledore uses Harry to convince a sofa to become a teacher.
While the Order tries to decide how they feel about this Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour walked into the room and Bill says
“Guess what? We’re getting married!”
Molly Weasley promptly faints in horror.
Meanwhile, in the corner, Tonks pines over Lupin- her Patronus is now presumably a werewolf.
In the other corner, Ron and Hermione made eyes at each other.
Harry realises he’s over Sirius’ death.
A BIT OF PLOT:
Snape promises to do Draco’s job if Draco can’t.
NO MORE PLOT
Back at school, the sofa turns out to be teaching Potions and Snape is teaching Defence- Harry gets given the HBP’s old Potions book- he thinks: cooool.
Harry realises he fancies Ginny who is dating Dean.
Ron and Hermione do their best to make each other jealous by dating Lavendar Brown and an overly aggressive Quidditch keeper respectively.
Harry and Ginny get together.
Dumbledore shows Harry memories of Mouldy Voldie, and reveals that he has always been an evil psychopath and has no real reason for his homicidal tendencies.
Hagrid gets huffy.
NOW FOR SOME PLOT:
Harry finds out from the sofa that Voldemort has separated his soul into seven pieces and so to destroy Voldie he has to destroy the objects the soul is attached to.
NO MORE PLOT
Draco cries in the toilet to Moaning Myrtle.
Harry almost kills Draco cos he doesn’t think that ‘Sectumsempra’ sounds like a nasty curse (ahem… sectum? Dissect? Hurm….)
A BIT OF PLOT:
DUMBledore takes Harry to a sea of dead people to get a locket which turns out to be useless (presumably made useless by Regulus Black?), in the process, DUMBledore poisons himself.
Upon returning to Hogwarts, DUMBledore wastes his time freezing Harry so Draco takes his (DUMBledore’s) wand and when he can’t kill him Snape does cos he made an unbreakable vow (of which DUMBledore knew).
Harry thinks Snape is evil.
NO MORE PLOT
Bill was attacked by a werewolf in human form; Fleur still wants to marry him despite him being uglified.
Molly Weasley promptly faints with happiness.
Tonks pines AT Remus saying ‘see?’ Bill was attacked by a werewolf, Fleur wants to still marry him though! Why can’t we be together?
Remus points out that it’s a bit different as he actually IS a werewolf.
Molly Weasley says he’s being silly.
Ron and Hermione are presumably a couple.
Dumbledore’s funeral is suitably dramatic.
They go home.
Oh yeah, by the way, Severus Snape is the Half Blood Prince.
THE END
All that plot packed into just 607 pages! Wow! Talk about skill!
SORRY but I am seriously unimpressed, I’ve read better fanfiction. Books one to four were good and then it sucked. I mean OOTP- why couldn’t Dumbledore have just told Harry the prophecy in book four and Sirius die in book three? Because that is flat out all the happened in that one. Anyone agree? Disagree? Let me know, I welcome any and all comments and arguments. Someone convince me otherwise!
Edit: Warning added by Anime Monster
