Post by Anime Monster on Jul 6, 2007 1:44:11 GMT -5
Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own Kingdom Hearts.
Author's Note: I'm thinking this is the "karma" for the crack!smut I wrote. I can't even blame emo-p*ss*!Cloud!muse for it.
Pairings: Axel/Roxas, one-sided Axel+Sora (if you squint you can see it as non-one sided)
Rating: T
Summary: Axel, a constant stream of thought.
Warnings: Tissue-warning, light yaoi, language, SPOILERS
For all of his life as a Nobody, if you could call it a life, he wished he could feel. He could hardly remember what it was like to have a heart because all he felt now was emptiness...or did you have to have a heart to feel that, too?
Demyx claimed they did have hearts, at least the ghost of one; it's what gave them the memories of their emotions. But, he had been acting so long, he didn't know whether what he "felt" was fake or if it was a "ghost". Secretly, he knew Number IX was right, he wouldn't wish so hard for feeling if he didn't have something left, he wouldn't have felt the emptiness if he didn't have something left, he probably wouldn't feel pain if he didn't have something left.
What had he done before to earn himself this curse of existence? He couldn't even remember, sometimes he didn't wish too, either.
But there came a brief moment in the darkness that a light shined through. He thought he had found his heart again, that he was whole once more. They talked, they laughed, they cried, the f*ck*d. Roxas was the keeper of his heart, and as long as he was around the blond he honestly thought he could feel.
Then he left and the darkness returned. He searched and searched in the darkness trying to find that bit of light that the other Nobody had provided, had he not provided the same light? When he finally found him, it had been too late, he didn't remember, he had forgotten. Did those without hearts suffer from broken hearts? If they did, that's what he was feeling, or at least the ghost of a broken heart, you needed to have a heart to have it break.
Despite that, even in that moment, he wanted a heart, if only to watch it break in tiny pieces. Secretly, he wished that one of the pieces of his broken heart would find it's way into Roxas, maybe if they shared it he'd come back to him. It was in that moment that he realized he didn't care about the Organization any more, of course, by then, Roxas had remembered, but he, like the mindless, unfeeling zombie he was, had followed his orders and tried to eliminate his light.
Was he actually angry at his light for forgetting and then remembering when it was too late? Was it a ghost of an emotion that could have once been called anger? Or was it an act, something his broken mind and soul had thrown together to protect...? Protect what?
The next time he found his light, he didn't remember again, but he didn't blame him this time. Now his light was whole, no longer swimming in the cursed darkness of their existence. Sora hadn't replaced Roxas as his heart, no, the brunette only made it grow, after all Roxas was a part of Sora. Saix interrupted before he could do anything, he was on the run from the Organization, and obviously Number VII had been sent after him.
He saw him again in Betwix and Between, Sora and his friends had used the portal in the alternate Twilight Town's mansion to access it and were probably trying to get to The World That Never Was. He didn't want the darkness to swallow up Sora, so he tried to get them o escape, all the while joking with his catch phrase. The Dusks were after him, not Sora and his friends, they could escape unharmed. But Sora...Sora wouldn't leave without him. Even though he kidnapped Kairi, Sora was still willing to be his light. It that instant he knew what he had to do, he wasn't supposed to be, after all, so he sacrificed himself, put all of his energy, all the light he felt coming from himself, in one spectacular finishing move, using the last energy, already knowing he was fading away, to make something to help my light.
In that instant he acknowledged the light I must have been providing for him, "You're...fading away," instead of, "The darkness is swallowing you," which was what was happening.
"Well, that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack. You know what I mean?" knowing that, for once, it was true, he had put his whole being into the attack. "Not that Nobodies actually HAVE beings...right?" he didn't want to admit the truth, even then. He didn't want Sora to feel bad, Sora had a chance to find a new light, he should. He told him to go find Kairi, she could be his light, or his friend Riku, could, either way...
However, he was always the optimums. Sora wanted him to tell her himself, he didn't want to pass the message on, he didn't want to apologize for him.
"Think I'll pass. My heart just wouldn't be in it, you know? Haven't got one," he claimed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to leave this place, he would cease to exist. Could Nobodies actually die? Was he dying? Sora asked about his purpose, "I wanted to see Roxas," it seemed to surprise and disappoint Sora. "He...was the only one I liked...He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny...You make me feel..." he didn't want to admit it, but he had to now, no choice, "the same..."
With the last of his energy, he seriously thought he didn't have any before that, but felt the little bit that had allowed him to hang on for so long. He told Sora where Kairi was in the castle and created a portal. His last visions were of Sora's beautiful face looking at him with compassion and understanding, and perhaps sadness.
Author's Note: I'm thinking this is the "karma" for the crack!smut I wrote. I can't even blame emo-p*ss*!Cloud!muse for it.
Pairings: Axel/Roxas, one-sided Axel+Sora (if you squint you can see it as non-one sided)
Rating: T
Summary: Axel, a constant stream of thought.
Warnings: Tissue-warning, light yaoi, language, SPOILERS
For all of his life as a Nobody, if you could call it a life, he wished he could feel. He could hardly remember what it was like to have a heart because all he felt now was emptiness...or did you have to have a heart to feel that, too?
Demyx claimed they did have hearts, at least the ghost of one; it's what gave them the memories of their emotions. But, he had been acting so long, he didn't know whether what he "felt" was fake or if it was a "ghost". Secretly, he knew Number IX was right, he wouldn't wish so hard for feeling if he didn't have something left, he wouldn't have felt the emptiness if he didn't have something left, he probably wouldn't feel pain if he didn't have something left.
What had he done before to earn himself this curse of existence? He couldn't even remember, sometimes he didn't wish too, either.
But there came a brief moment in the darkness that a light shined through. He thought he had found his heart again, that he was whole once more. They talked, they laughed, they cried, the f*ck*d. Roxas was the keeper of his heart, and as long as he was around the blond he honestly thought he could feel.
Then he left and the darkness returned. He searched and searched in the darkness trying to find that bit of light that the other Nobody had provided, had he not provided the same light? When he finally found him, it had been too late, he didn't remember, he had forgotten. Did those without hearts suffer from broken hearts? If they did, that's what he was feeling, or at least the ghost of a broken heart, you needed to have a heart to have it break.
Despite that, even in that moment, he wanted a heart, if only to watch it break in tiny pieces. Secretly, he wished that one of the pieces of his broken heart would find it's way into Roxas, maybe if they shared it he'd come back to him. It was in that moment that he realized he didn't care about the Organization any more, of course, by then, Roxas had remembered, but he, like the mindless, unfeeling zombie he was, had followed his orders and tried to eliminate his light.
Was he actually angry at his light for forgetting and then remembering when it was too late? Was it a ghost of an emotion that could have once been called anger? Or was it an act, something his broken mind and soul had thrown together to protect...? Protect what?
The next time he found his light, he didn't remember again, but he didn't blame him this time. Now his light was whole, no longer swimming in the cursed darkness of their existence. Sora hadn't replaced Roxas as his heart, no, the brunette only made it grow, after all Roxas was a part of Sora. Saix interrupted before he could do anything, he was on the run from the Organization, and obviously Number VII had been sent after him.
He saw him again in Betwix and Between, Sora and his friends had used the portal in the alternate Twilight Town's mansion to access it and were probably trying to get to The World That Never Was. He didn't want the darkness to swallow up Sora, so he tried to get them o escape, all the while joking with his catch phrase. The Dusks were after him, not Sora and his friends, they could escape unharmed. But Sora...Sora wouldn't leave without him. Even though he kidnapped Kairi, Sora was still willing to be his light. It that instant he knew what he had to do, he wasn't supposed to be, after all, so he sacrificed himself, put all of his energy, all the light he felt coming from himself, in one spectacular finishing move, using the last energy, already knowing he was fading away, to make something to help my light.
In that instant he acknowledged the light I must have been providing for him, "You're...fading away," instead of, "The darkness is swallowing you," which was what was happening.
"Well, that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack. You know what I mean?" knowing that, for once, it was true, he had put his whole being into the attack. "Not that Nobodies actually HAVE beings...right?" he didn't want to admit the truth, even then. He didn't want Sora to feel bad, Sora had a chance to find a new light, he should. He told him to go find Kairi, she could be his light, or his friend Riku, could, either way...
However, he was always the optimums. Sora wanted him to tell her himself, he didn't want to pass the message on, he didn't want to apologize for him.
"Think I'll pass. My heart just wouldn't be in it, you know? Haven't got one," he claimed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to leave this place, he would cease to exist. Could Nobodies actually die? Was he dying? Sora asked about his purpose, "I wanted to see Roxas," it seemed to surprise and disappoint Sora. "He...was the only one I liked...He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny...You make me feel..." he didn't want to admit it, but he had to now, no choice, "the same..."
With the last of his energy, he seriously thought he didn't have any before that, but felt the little bit that had allowed him to hang on for so long. He told Sora where Kairi was in the castle and created a portal. His last visions were of Sora's beautiful face looking at him with compassion and understanding, and perhaps sadness.