Mommy, Forgive Me

[paintedmusic]

Mommy, Forgive Me
1/17/08

violent screams tear past a raw throat
eyes flash, alight with l.i.v.i.d fury
spiteful words spill past bitten lips with a vengeance:
i h a t e y o u !

minutes trickle past like water from a broken faucet
dripdropdripdrop in the echoing silence
that threatened to crack
her heart in two—
a mother’s tears swallowed back
she’ll pretend it doesn’t hurt (even though
nothing has ever hurt more) so that
her little girl won’t see pain flash across her eyes
and realize she just broke her mother’s heart

and when night passes with a time.out.for.you.missy
and morning creeps in through the blinds in a crisscross of light
she’ll crawl into her mother’s bed and
snuggle up like a teddy bear (as if nothing ever happened)
she’ll whisper at Mommy’s sleeping face
an angel’s apology
and Mommy will whisper back into precious, fragile ears
i… l o v e… y o u…

(because Mommy will forever love her .little.one.
through all the ‘iloveyou’s and all the ‘ihateyou’s
and all the shrieks of dragon-fire rage
and all the tickle-me-’till-I-gasp-for-breath giggles
because her .little.one. is her
.W.O.R.L.D.

[Meluivan Indil]

I had to read that twice to actually get the point, but then again I'm pretty slow on the uptake when it comes to poetry.

But anyhow, I am very impressed. When we chose family for the subject of this contest I expected alot of sachrine sweet entries about family love and such, which is really great, but we sometimes forget about the not so perfect family moments that make up what a family really is and you have captured one of those moments perfectly here.

I absolutely love it hon.

M.

[neb92]

*sniffles* I'm pretty sure I've read this before, but changing the colors and styles, etc., really brought out the point. I'm glad that you posted this Shan!

Neb

[paintedmusic]

Thanks - to both of you.

M -- Honestly, the sweetly, saccharine stuff -- I can't write it very often. Sometimes but only when I'm in an extremely odd mood. I don't mind reading other people's work like that (sometimes), but to write it for me... it's difficult.

Neben -- I actually didn't have that originally, but I saw the color-change-possibility and thought, "Eh, why not?"

[neb92]

lol, it's cool. It brings out the emotion SO much better than just words. And... Yeah. Shan when she's in a fluff mood? Scary.

Neb

[paintedmusic]

(Only when I see a kid or animal )

[Meluivan Indil]

I myself like a good balance between fluff and hardship. The character doesn't get fluff until they've went through hell first. But fluff just for fluff's sake, I can't write.

M.