More Than Real

[Dreamer]

Really not sure what the rating should be... I'll go with T just to be safe.

More Than Real

This nightmare has to end soon...
I know it won’t last much longer...
The dread and the feeling of being alone...
I’ve been left unloved and I pray,
That the one I next choose won’t stray...
I’m scared and shivering in the cold...
My heart’s door, I’ve shut once more...
Can’t take being hurt for another second...
I’ve got to rid myself of the merciless pain...
I could go stand in the rain...
But even that’s not enough... anymore...
Can’t suffer this feeling for another minute...
Have to get away from this empty soul...
I’ve never felt a larger hole,
In my tattered heart...
I’ve never felt this way before...
I can’t deal with it all anymore...
It’s too much and there’s only one way out...
No one knows what I’m really about...
I’ve tried so hard, I felt I had to shout,
Just to be heard...
Now I’ve got a disease that won’t be cured...
I’m slowly sinking lower with every breath I take...
Seems there’s not a way I can possibly make it...
I can’t live this way much more...
I’ll have to make my exit now...
I’m gonna have to bow...
Out of the game of life...
This nightmare has to end soon...
I know it can’t last much longer...
Too bad that’s just a dream of mine...
Cause even when I open my eyes...
This nightmare replays...
And the way I feel...
Is more than real.

~Anna Christie~

Any tips on how to improve? Or did you like it?

[Lady Idril]

Ohhh wow! I love it, brilliant job! There's a lot of soul and emotion in it, it's very deep. Wonderful work ;D

[Dreamer]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and were able to find the emotion in the words. It always makes a writer feel good to hear that. Thank you!

~Anna Christie~

[poeticsoul]

I really liked that, Anna. It was very deep! There was a lot of emotion in it.

Kinsey

[Dreamer]

Thank you so much!!!

~Anna Christie~

[Meluivan Indil]

Wow, I love the way you phase things. The words you use are so powerful. You have a wonderful way of using out of the ordinary phrases to describe feelings and emotions.

I normally don't care for poetry but I absolutely love the way you write it.

M.

[Dreamer]

M, Thank you sooooooo much!!! I'm really glad that I was able to make you like poetry! (er.. mine anyway! lol!!) But really, thank you soo much!!!

When you say you liked the way I prased things could I get you to point one out to me cause people tell me that but never mention which lines/phrases they particularly liked. Thanks if ya can!!!

~Anna Christie~