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Post by Anime Monster on Mar 16, 2006 10:54:55 GMT -5
Poor Chaos, I really want to learn more about these clans.
And 'tis okay on your inability to write fem!slash, I don't write it often myself, very rarely...
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me
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Yeah Hikaru and Kaoru!
Posts: 48
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Post by me on Mar 17, 2006 13:59:14 GMT -5
... writing for Triks is a pain d**n his accent!!!! lol...
Chapter 4 (Dragon POV). White wolves.
It’s getting late and the men are looking for a place to settle down. But I’m uneasy I don’t like this forest at night. Full of demons waiting to eat your souls and forest guardians. This is Wolf and Snake Clan territories, Lions are not welcome here at all. I speed up the trot of my horse to catch up will Fahum, he was in charge of the gang. “Fahum. I can not rest nor may I hunt in this area. It is not a good place. I’m just in danger for entering this area of the wood.” I inform him desperately.
“Why not?” he gave me a confused look. “You are from the Lion clan, what could poses a threat to you. Anyway my men need to rest.”
“This is Snake and Wolf clan lands, Lions are not welcome. Wolfs will come in the night and kill us.”
“Then we will set up guards in the night to keep a look out. We have dealt with wolves before.”
“Not like this. Please. I Dragon ask this of you. Do not lay camp here, another couple of hours and we will be out of their land and into Horse Territory.” I begged him.
“No. we have travelled long enough, we shall be fine here. There is nothing you can say that will change my mind.” He stared in to my eyes challengingly. Reluctantly I gave in and averted my eyes with a snarl. The men settled down to sleep, with a few in the trees keeping watch. I lent up against a tree and watched a tiny black beetle scuttle across the leaf litter. I made my-self as alert as possible, I listened for anything unusual. Nothing except the noise of the bounty hunters. I lifted my head slightly and sniffed the air. There was something unusual there. I took in a deeper breath. Neither wolf nor snake. My curiosity took a hold of me as I decided to find this creature. As I got closer to my prey I lowered my self so I was flat on the ground. Just behind this bush. I squirmed forward on my stomach until I could see in to the clearing. There on a pile of rocks was… one of the Falcon clan. Huh…Chaos. Looks like her, but what would she be doing here? I let out a small Tisk sound to see if I could get her to face me so I would be able to tell for defendant if it was her or not.
“Oi you.” I heard Triks annoying voice at first I thought he was yelling at me. But then realised he was yelling at the girl on the rocks. She leaped to her feet quickly and faced Triks. Yes this was Chaos. Chaos got into a fighting pose, if Triks got any nearer he would have a foot in his face and it would hurt. But I’m not gonna tell him that, maybe it might teach him a lesson about being cautious and never underestimating his opponent.
“Hey take it easy luv. I don’t want to have to restrain ya. I might ‘urt ya and I wouldn’t want dat on my conscience.” He started to make his way towards Chaos; he got as far as the rock Chaos was standing on. She let out her assault and with on powerful kick in the centre of Triks’ chest, he flew back a few feet. He drew out his knife and Chaos let out a whimper, but stood her ground. I got ready to pounce as soon as Triks took a step towards her. “Right I warned ya, so now I’m gonna have to do this by force.” He step forward.I rush forward and pounced on Triks, with one hand on his wrist with the knife in and the other on his neck, I let out a low growl. Triks let out a gasp and dropped his jagged dagger on the grassy ground. I stood up, as soon as I had done so he backed off in fright. I loosened my jaw slightly, looked at the ground and waited. After a few moments Triks’ look of horror turned to admiration. I glanced at him and to my surprise he was smiling.
“Wow dude, I would never expect you to be dat strong, you know, and fast f**k**g hell you appeared from no where.” Triks exclaimed, he really meant it I think, as he wasn’t saying it out of fear.
“Dragon, it’s you.” Chaos stated “I got something to tell you. It’s really important.” With her eyes suspiciously on Triks all the time she walked to me.
“What is it? What are you doing here? Is Blade with you? Who…” I was cut short, by a wolf howl in the short distance. “No time. No time we must move and now. We are in danger here. Triks reason with Fahum get him to move his men.” I grabbed Chaos’ wrist and dragged her to the horses. I helped her on to my stead and got on after her. Triks, I was relived to find had managed where I hadn’t. Fahum didn’t look happy, but he wouldn’t be too happy if we got caught by the Wolfs.
Triks pulled up to my right, “dese Wolfs are they kinda magic?”
“The Wolf clan will not attack us directly they will use ‘Spirit Wolves’ not as deadly, but still more dangerous then normal wolves.”
“Demon wolves, like in da legends. We ain’t got a chance they bite and you die and they appear out of thin air. One sec their dere and the next their gone.”
“No that is a wolf guardian, we are not at war with the Wolf Clan, we just don’t get on that well.”
“Oh dats good den.” Triks smiled at me before riding to Fahum, probably to tell him what I had just said.
“You have an admirer then?” I had forgotten that Chaos was sitting there.
“Huh? What do you mean and what were you gonna say to me before we started to run for our lives?”
“Come on I know you’re not into… well anything. But surely even you can see his into you. I bet as soon as we get to a town he’ll go off and learn as much about the Clans and then try to impress you with his new found knowledge. Anyway Shaz talked Blade into taking us in to the wood and there was this noise and the horses bolted and I fell off and the other to horses galloped of and…”
“Take a deep breath and continue slower. Ok. I don’t need you collapsing through lack of breath.”
“Ok. I was all alone, so I went in the direction they went and you know those rocks I was on.” I nodded “Well on them was a Creature with beautiful bird wings, lion waist down, human waist up and a lizard head. And he told me some thing about two lions hunting and about one having a dark heart, which wasn’t his. Does that make any sense to you cos it told me to tell you and if I didn’t it would get dirty or something like that.”
I was about to reply when I saw a white streak out of the corner of my eye. A white wolf throw itself at my horse and another at the legs of the horse. The horse reared, Chaos and I fell off, I landed on my feet miraculously, Chaos though didn’t. She landed with a thump and the hard ground. My hair bristled on the back of my neck threateningly and I let out a low deep growl to warn them that I meant business. There was no good running now our only chance was to face them down and hope there wasn’t too many of them. The bounty hunters had bolted off somewhere, yet there stood Triks, Why hadn’t he ridden off with them.
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Post by Anime Monster on Mar 26, 2006 15:48:30 GMT -5
Ah, Triks likes Dragon, *coos*sweet.
This is so good, sorry I didn't read this sooner. Anyways, I love this story and can't wait for the next chapter.
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me
Forum Newbie
Yeah Hikaru and Kaoru!
Posts: 48
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Post by me on Mar 27, 2006 12:50:41 GMT -5
Danm Deathnotes its the reason i don't do homework or write or do anything but read death notes....
Chapter 5 (Blade POV). Hidden assassin.
“God it’s so cold out here. Why does she have to get lost when it’s cold? I would prefer it if she got lost when it was slightly warmer not that I’d want her to get lost at all. Hmm that’s slightly worrying I’m talking to myself.” I smile to myself and decide that it didn’t matter if I was acting like a madman as long as I looked good. And yep I look so sexy in my cool outfit, though the black gloves could do with being a bit thicker. I try to warm my hands up by rub them together with little joy. So I pull my cape further around me which I quite awkward when you have a loaded crossbolt in your hand. I have been walking for hours, this is really stupid I’m never gonna find anything at this rate. Unless by a miracle I stumble across her or if I’m able to concentrate for a bit. “Ok thinking. let’s listen to see if there is any human like noises anywhere. … Nope nothing apart from that yelp of pain.” I laugh at my own ironical humour. I carefully make my way towards where the noise had come from with my crossbolt in arms. ‘Woh that’s one big wolf and hay look it’s Dragon, Chaos and one good looking dude” I smiled, ‘time to become a hero and save them I think’ I climbed a tree to get a good view point and so I’d be out of the way if those wolves decided that I might be a good meal to. I aimed up to the nearest wolf, I don’t really have a good aim, but it’s good enough. The arrow tore through the air at speed and buried itself in to the wolfs head. “Bo-yah!” I punched the air. “sh*t. What the f**k was dat Dragon?” The cool dude moved closer to Dragon as I let out another arrow. I may not be that smart but I was slightly obvious that he was in to D-boy in a big way. I aimed for a different target and pulled the trigger.
“Ah my leg da Barstard shot me in da leg” The guy yelped. “ I’m gonna die.” Jealousy, it’s a terrible thing.
“Did I accidentally shot you in the leg? Oh I am sorry.” I couldn’t help but smiling as I jumped out of my tree. By the look of it the wolves had scrapped. The dude let out a dramatic painful moan. “Oh quit complaining it’s only a flesh wound.” I roll my eyes “Your be fine just don’t pull it out or you might bled to death before we get back to the town.”
Dragon wraps his arms around me. “Your so mean, you did that on purpose.” He glared down at me.
“Tut I did not! What ever made think I would do such a nasty thing just to spite?” I pull him closer into a hug. “Cos your over protective and get very jealous over nothing?” He pulls out of the hug and walks over to the wounded guy. “Now apologies to Triks.”
“What? No way am I apologising to him. He was so asking for it. O.k. he wasn’t literally asking for it. Alright he wasn’t asking for it at all. But still… I’m sorry for shooting you in the leg Triks.” I looked down at the ground very remorsefully. “Hey look people I don’t know about you but I’m freezing. I know Maxine has got a lair thing going on quite near so I we head there. It’s not far. Come on Triks I’ll carry you there, here Chaos take my cross bolt for me you may need it to shoot Maxy in the leg."
“I’m not going to shoot my own adopted father in the leg. He would ground me for a week and I’m starting to get use to his weird behaviour.” Chaos responded.
“What weird behaviour and why do we need protection from him?” Triks looked slightly worried.
“How said we? It’s you who needs protecting.” I gave him a sly smile; this was fun winding him up. He was so gullible.
“Blade, your making him sound like a crazed lunatic… well he is slightly well… eccentric?” Chaos had no idea how to describe his behaviour in a nice way.
“ECCENTIC? God Chaos eccentric isn’t the word he is s ‘himbo’ to say it nicely. Then he has a collection of worshipers.” I inform
“His receptionist doesn’t worship him, he thinks his a stuck up whore, with lots of money.” Dragon said bluntly with a glazed look on his face.
“What’s a ‘himbo’ and why should I be worried by that fact? And does he have his own religious cult or something?” Triks was definitely scared know I could see it in his eyes.
“A ‘himbo’ is a mix of bimbo and Poof in a god d**n sexy body. His main thoughts I have decided are, ‘I’m so sexy.’ ‘I’m so sexy I can’t believe Shane doesn’t want me.’ ‘I’m going to piss off butch by chatting him up.’ And ‘oh my god I don’t think I’ve f*ck*d that guy yet I have to get him in to my bed.’. He’s going to think the latter about you by the way. So be afraid, very afraid.” I sum up with a smile.
“He always has that effect on me.” Dragon sighed and looked totally miserable.
“Aw Dragon you should be O.k. all the energy he normal puts in trying to get in your trousers will be put in to getting in to getting in to Triks trousers. So I’m sure he won’t harass you as much as he normally does.” I reassure him. But where he looked happier Triks had gone pale. “Look there. His home is in sight. He has really out done him self this time.”
Between the trees we saw what looked like a palace, it was made of grey smooth stones and roofed with shiny blue slates. The doors where giant dark wooden doors with iron supports painted black. I know what it’s made of cos I helped design it, but I had never seen it fully built like this. It was magnificent.
I pushed the two double doors open together to add effect, before waltzing in to the main entrance hall.
“Great your back.” Came the sarcastic comment from a brunette sitting on a coarse wooden bench at the side of the vast room. “Welcome home Chaos, you look gorgeous as ever. Dragon always a pleasure to see you as you’re the only guy I have never had to b*tch slap for trying to chat me up.” He looked Triks up and down. “One of your friends Blade.”
“What Triks no friend of mine, that’s why I shoot him in the leg. His one of Dragon’s friends, Shane.” I explained.
“Oh well that’s a different story. Triks, you come with me and I’ll take you to our doctor person. You lot wait here and I’ll send down Maxy baby.” Triks followed Shane up the stairs on the left of the room with a limp.
“God he is one evil receptionist.” I glare after them
“What? I like him, his nice to me and dragon. Maybe he just acts evil to people who act obnoxious.” Chaos laughed at me.
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Post by Anime Monster on Mar 29, 2006 23:09:42 GMT -5
A few grammer mistakes, but other than that, I loved the chapter. If I had the time I'd correct them for you . Mainly you used "his" in places I'm sure you met "he's" as well as a few double typed phrases, like you got up and forgot you typed it so you typed it again.
Anyways, the plot is the best and can't wait for the next chapter.
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me
Forum Newbie
Yeah Hikaru and Kaoru!
Posts: 48
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Post by me on Apr 2, 2006 5:47:09 GMT -5
lol thanks, i'll have a look and change them when i get time to, rush rush rush thats my life.
Chapter 6, (Chaos POV) Prince of the Palace
I stare around at the décor of the place; it was like I had expected it to be. Smooth, cold marble floor, beams across the ceiling and white walls. Pretty, in a normal kind of way, but then again my adopted father always had a good taste in décor if nothing else. I heard the echo of footsteps come down the hall at the top right of the room, that must be Max. Max bounded in to the room, you could help but admire his good looks, which he had made his name from. His hair was mid-long and golden, which flicked in his eyes. He was well built, tall and muscular, but not overly so. His dress was of a prince, a gold and ivory coat and a pair of ivory trousers was all he wore showing off his well toned front. “Chaos! My lady, welcome home, I do so hope you had a pleasant trip. It has been a dreadfully long time since I have last seen you.” Oh dear his accent, posh English terribly put on. He was obviously taking the place thing a bit too seriously. “It’s nice to see you to Max, I’m sorry our parting was so long.” I replied as he swept me in to a hug before turning his attention to Dragon and Blade. “Dragon! Darling! It’s an honour to have you back at my humble abode.” He put emphasis on the ‘h’ when he felt it needed it. He also swept Dragon into a more then friendly hug. “Blade! What a surprise, I must say I haven’t seen you for a decade at least. I did miss you so. I must say I missed you all very much.” “Right. That’s scary.” Blade spoke for all that was present. “Why are you putting on that strange accent? It’s freaky. I would also like to point out that I didn’t get a hug.” He pouted slightly. “Huh. Hug you? You deserve nothing, you are only staying here as a guest of my daughter that is all. I do not wish to speak with you any more. Come Chaos I will show you to your room, when Shane gets back he will show you to yours. You will dine with Me, Chaos and Cinsanati at 7. Good day gentlemen.” He replied more sharply before leading me away from the two confused men.
We walked to my room in deadly silence; I really wanted to know what the matter was, but knew I must wait until we were in the privacy of my own room. As people say, Walls have ears too. As soon as the door was shut I turn to him. “Why were you so sharp to Blade he said nothing wrong? Yet your spiteful to him, I don’t think even he knows what he has done wrong.” I quiz him anxiously. “He deserved it, he left me, abandon me. He stormed off when I had done nothing wrong. He told me that I was a sl*t and being with me made him feel like a dirty whore. So he said that he was leaving to find some-one who was capable to love him. Can you believe that?” Max spat he had now lost his accent, as there was no one there to impress. “Ouch no wonder you’re mad at Blade, but it isn’t like Blade to act like that if he isn’t agitated. What did he say before that?” “Nothing that important, something weird like Do you see love in people and return it?” Max gave a puzzled look. “He was asking you if you loved him. What did you say?” I had a hunch he had given Blade a negative answer. “‘Love!’ I laughed. ‘Love is nothing. Pleasure is everything; I’ll never return love, what’s the point.’ Was that the wrong answer?” Max asked lazily. “WHAT? No Max no wonder he said that. To Blade love is a big deal. What do you think made him go back again and again to Jay after he cut him?” I was very stunned at what Max had said to Blade to say the least. “I don’t know. But I suppose you’re going to tell me so I shall soon learn why.” Max flopped down on the king sized bed. I growled at him with aggravation. “It’s because Jay was always saying how much he loved Blade. Therefore Blade thought and maybe still thinks that Jay loved him and maybe still does.” “Hmm. Makes sense I suppose. I’ll talk to him over dinner, but I’m too busy now. If you need me ask Shane where I am and Blade and Dragon are in room 23. I’ll see you at dinner, you better get some sleep it’s early morning and you look exhausted.” He kissed me on the cheek and ruffled my hair slightly before he left. He is always busy, I doubt he gets any sleep at night, but it’s his own fault. I hope Triks is alright, Max didn’t mention him so I doubt he knows his here. Blade can be evil sometimes; evil in a good and nice way if that’s possible. I bet he can’t wait to see Cinsanati, which will be amusing at the least. We will be travelling again as soon as possible I guess. That will be exciting, Trekking across unknown lands in the hunt of a murderer. I wonder if I’ll see that creature again, I expect not anyway, he really confuses me and it could eat me. I yawed, I was really tired, so I looked in the draws as I assumed all my stuff I had last time I stayed was there with extra new things. I selected out some night clothes and got ready for bed before hopping in to the luxurious bed.
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Post by Anime Monster on Apr 2, 2006 23:20:05 GMT -5
Ouch, poor Blade. No wonder he said that.
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