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Post by Meluivan Indil on Sept 30, 2008 18:11:52 GMT -5
I am seriously not getting into a debate over what criticism a person should or should not take to heart. I'll offer what I can and hopefully you'll find something you can use in it.
I have to admit, hon, that this did seem really rushed and sort of on the impersonal level. The grammatical problems were mostly fixed. But you realy need to work on adding more description. Especially emotions and what someone is thinking.
Pretty much most of this was dialogue and action, and that's great but the description needs to come in too.
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