Post by dreaming on Nov 10, 2008 12:02:48 GMT -5
Circles
By Brian Conley
Ana tightened her robe around her snugly as she started the short trip from the bathroom to her room. The cold air of the outside hallway pressed against her as a wet blanket and some shivers marched neatly down her spine. She hugged herself and padded as quick as her still-sleepy body would let her over the chilled hardwood floor. As she passed her father’s door she heard the familiar muffled snoring from within and she smiled, glad to know that he was home okay from his graveyard shift. The next door in the row was wide open and she paused, just for a moment, to peer inside. It was her brother’s room, just as drab as it had ever been. The pale blue walls were the only color and the bed and dresser the only furniture. The only real source of entertainment were the piles of books stacked under the bed and sloppily wrecked over the floor. Ana made a face of concern, both because of its state and because its occupant wasn’t inside. It was unusual of her brother to be awake at such an early hour, more so considering that he had been downstairs watching TV past midnight when she had gone to bed. With a shrug she brushed it away, pushed forward by more chills over her skin. Moving a little quicker then before she proceeded to the last door in the row: hers. It was shut tight, as she left it, and as she gripped the knob and pressed her shoulder against the smooth grain to swing inside, she tossed another glance at her brother’s room.
The floor changed to carpet and it greeted her feet with warm smiles as she stepped onto it. Appreciative she was, now more then ever, that out of all the rooms in the house, her family had allowed her to choose the only plush-carpeted one. She looked down at her toes and wiggled them as she turned to close the door, watching how they pressed against the soft fabric. As she turned her back to face her room, she let out a yelp of surprise and pressed a hand against her heart. Sudden feelings of anger rolled through her, accompanying the next wave of shivers.
“Henry!” She said roughly, directing her bladed words towards her brother, who was standing in the center of the room. He was dressed in a ragged black hooded sweatshirt and equally old jeans, but no shoes. He was looking up at the ceiling, arms noodles at his sides.
“What are you doing?” Ana growled. Henry bent his head over his shoulder.
“I’m lost, Anny.” He said. His words were a sharp contrast to the tough tones Ana was using: they were soft as tissue and did spirals in the air.
Ana wrinkled her brow, “What do you mean?”
“I woke up this morning and I wasn’t where I was before.”
“Did you fall asleep on the couch?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“Everything’s different. Nothing is how it was before.”
“Henry…” Ana shook her head, “what are you doing in here?”
Henry flattened his eyes and painted a frown. He broke his eye contact and moved it to the floor.
“Do you remember how we always used to play in here?” He asked, “Always in Anny’s room. Never anywhere else.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s just a nice memory of before-times, that’s all.”
“Henry, you’re creeping me out a little. What’s wrong? What are you doing?”
“I…went to bed last night looking at the ceiling and when I woke up, things were different. I mean, everything looks the same, but its all different.”
More shivers came down Ana’s spine and she couldn’t tell if they were from being cold or from her brother’s cryptic words. With her index finger she swirled the air in front of her.
“Turn around and don’t look.” She said. Henry obliged. Once he looked away, Ana moved to her dresser and started changing, quickly picking out clothes and deftly removing her robe to change into them.
“So, I’m lost.” Henry said. Ana tugged her shirt on and scrunched her mouth to one side.
“I don’t understand. What do you mean? How can you be lost when you’re were you’ve always been?”
“It only looks like where I’ve always been, but it’s not. Everything is different.”
“Okay, I’ll bite.” Ana said, becoming distracted with her hair, “How is it different?”
“It all feels different. Smells different. Sounds different.”
“And me?”
“You’re different too.” Henry turned around and Ana met his gaze. For a second she forgot about her lack of pants and became entranced with the harsh stare that her brother offered her. His eyes, normally creased but alive, were so sullen today, like shiny pebbles underneath murky water. She had never seen him look like this.
“How am I different?” She asked, forgetting her bare legs completely and entrancing herself with her brother’s woes.
“You sound the same, you look the same, you smell the same…but like everything else, you’re different.”
“I smell the same?”
Henry walked the three steps to Ana and kissed her on the forehead.
“Different.” He said and walked out of the room, filling the silent void with the open-and-shut of the door. Ana rubbed the moist spot on her forehead and frowned.
* * * * *
It was mid-morning when Riel finally woke up enough to pay heed to his mother’s callings. After showering and getting dressed he clambered to the ringing phone and answered it, only to be caught in a monotone conversation and rewarded with instructions to shovel and salt the walk outside, which had been washed with snow during the night. Grumbling, Riel went to do as he was told. As he left the house, the chill of the winter air sliced at him, attacking him like invisible dogs at his exposed cheeks and wrists. He puffed out thin breaths into his gloved palms, going through the motion of warming his hands but receiving none of the benefit. It was mornings like this when he wondered why he got out of bed at all—things were warmer under his blankets.
Ah, well…He thought, walking down the front steps, shovel in hand, grabbed from its leaning position on the porch. It had snowed a decent amount through the night, no less then a foot, and it was a sticky, wet snow. The kind of snow where it was a chore to just get a shovelful, let alone lift it to toss it away. With groaning muscles and rolling chills he did so anyway, lifting and tossing the heavy substance in marching succession. It was on the fifteenth swing, by his obsessive count, did he notice the figure standing at the end of the walk, outside the chain-link fence. He stood wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and ratty jeans; his arms dead at his sides.
“Henry.” He said, stabbing his shovel into the ground and leaning on it. He puffed out thin clouds and smiled, “What’re you doing here so early?”
“Rell, I’m lost.” Henry said.
Riel tilted his head, “What? How so?”
“Everything is different. I’m not where I used to be.”
“You’re not making sense, Henry. You’re here, at my house. You’ve been here a million times. You can’t be lost.”
“I am. Very lost.”
“Maybe you’re just crazy.”
Henry looked up at the sky, “Hey, Rell, do you remember how me and you used to play all the time in this yard?”
“Yeah, of course I do.”
“Those were good times, back then.”
“Why are you talking like you’re going to die? There are more good times to be had here, Henry.”
He shook his head, “No. Rell, I’m too lost to find my way back.”
“Ah, again! What do you mean?” Riel let off of the shovel and crunched through the show to lean over the fence, close to Henry. He put a hand on his shoulder and huffed.
“When I woke up this morning, everything felt different. It all looks the same, but I’m in a different place. I’m lost.”
“And so am I. Henry, what the hell?”
Henry looked down from the sky and into Riel’s eyes. He staggered back a half-step, hit with concern about the new look he was given. Henry shot into his eyes a look of such washed worry that Riel felt a wave of serious concern crawl through him. He had never seen Henry look so…so…well, like that before. As Riel’s mind whirred, he couldn’t come up with any named emotion to place against how Henry looked at him. All he could think of what how a feather looks, dropping against a shallow puddle.
Henry took Riel’s hand and squeezed it tight. Riel shook his head.
“Henry, I’m worried. Are you alright?”
“Not alright.” Henry shook Riel’s hand and placed it back on the fence, “Lost.”
He started walking away and Riel stood, bewildered, until he was out of sight.
It was only then did he have the thought to fight the gate open and chase after him.
* * * *
Moving from house-to-house was a big hassle. Moving from state-to-state was even bigger. Doing both was a sure sign of the end of the world, or at least, many, many nerves. And to make matters worse: it snowed through the night, so Katie and her family would have to carefully traverse the hastily-shoveled path to and from the house to carry in the last of the heavy boxes. Scratch that: Katie herself would have to do so. Her family had gone out to do…whatever it was that needed to be done to secure the house and they left poor Katie alone to finish up with whatever boxes were stuffed in the back of the van. There weren’t many, but they were heavy and Katie’s arms were becoming wobbly from having to fight with lifting and carrying through the cold air. As a small condolence, however, Katie was pleased to have the mid-day sun kiss her enough to remove her hat and let her long blonde hair flutter in the cool breezes.
With an oomph she dropped another box labeled “outside” onto the porch and did a quick stretch-set before heading back down the shoveled path, which she equated in size to that of a rope bridge in the darkest jungles, to get back to the van. As she rounded the side to approach the open back, she saw somebody standing awfully close to it, in the street. He was a kid about her age, wearing an old sweatshirt with a hood pulled down and jeans that had ages embedded into them. His arms were loose at his sides and he was staring hard at the house.
“Um, hello?” Katie dared, deciding to play the friendly card and hope for good results, “Can I help you?”
“I’m lost.” The boy said. Katie bit her lip and studied his face. His eyes showed a stare that was like that of a fish flopping around on the ground. They seemed to stay forever still and yet had a viciousness about them, silently flopping. As she looked, she though that she might recognize him from her school…but she wasn’t sure, she had only gone one day.
“Are you from around here?” She asked, adding kindness songs to her words.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, then maybe you don’t come around here very often?”
“I used to live here.” The boy jutted his chin towards the house, “A long time ago.”
“Oh, really? Well, it’s a nice house. Um, it’s good to meet you, by the way. I’m Katie.” She extended her hand out but the boy ignored it. She scowled and carefully licked her lips, “So, do you need directions or something?”
“Everything is the same, so…no.” The boy shut his eye as he moved his head and opened them again to look at Katie. She stepped back once.
“You’re new, too. Different and new.”
“Yeah, just moved here Thursday.”
The boy nodded and bit his tongue as he turned around, walking in the opposite direction. Katie cocked her head as she watched him walk away, leaving deep footprints in the car-packed street snow.
What the heck…? She asked herself and pondered the mysterious boy long enough for her parents to return and lecture her on ignoring their instructions.
* * * *
“Rell?”
Riel turned around and saw a familiar face coming towards him, cutting out from the joining street. She was in a puffy pink coat and smooth jeans with her dirty blonde hair capped with a blue knit.
“Anny.” He said, waving a mitten in her direction. As she got closer he saw the look of concern express in her creases and he nodded, muttering the name as a question.
“Henry?”
“Ah, so he came to you, too!” Ana said, pressing her palms together.
“Yeah, and he was all weird.”
“Did he tell you he was lost?”
“Yeah!” Ana put her hands in her pockets and looked down at the ground, “Then he said everything was different and left…so I got dressed and went after him. Boy, I’m glad I ran into you! Now I know I’m at least on the trail.”
“Yeah, yeah. Did what he say to you make any sense?”
“Not really…he just brought up how we used to play and that they were better memories-“
“Hey, same here!” Riel made a fist, “He said everything was the same, but different…or something like that.”
“Mm-hmm. Rell, I’m really worried about him. He never acted like this before, I mean, there was some depression after out Mom died, but…”
“Do you think that could be it?”
“I don’t know! He was fine last night! And the night before! Heck, last night me and him played cards and watched the late-night shows! We talked! He told me jokes, made me laugh! I…I hit him with a pillow! I mean…it was normal!”
“And today he’s saying its all different.”
“Then he left us and is wandering…Rell, can you come with me?”
“Where?”
“I was just thinking—I might know where he went.”
“Oh?”
“It’s been a few hours, so he’s had time to get there on foot…come on.”
“O-okay…” Riel looked back down the road, up at the sky and then started after Ana, both of them moving in sprinting paces.
* * * *
It looked the same, the cliff and ocean beneath it, but it wasn’t. It was different. A fog, invisible and heavy, was here now and it shouldn’t have been. The birds chirped different notes in the paler sky above. The ocean crashed differently. The rocks were shapes Henry didn’t remember them as. His feet made different noises as he climbed to the point of the cliff and the rock felt different as he sat down on it. How many years, he thought, it should feel the same. It should be the same, but its not .
“I’ve wandered off the map.” He muttered.
He didn’t remember how he got so lost. He only remembered what happed in his life before he did. He remembered Anny, his sister. He remembered Riel, his best friend. He remembered the new girl at school, blonde and pretty. He remembered his life climbing like a ladder to the top, which was here, which was off the map, which was lost. He remembered going to sleep that night, he remembered waking up in a dream of blackness with nothing but hollow voices of his mother and father echoing around him.
He remembered a light.
He remembered a unmistakable scent of flowers.
He remembered his sister as a baby, sweet and soft.
And then he woke up in a place he had never been to before. A place that mirrored every faucet of his life perfectly but wasn’t it. It was a fake, a phony, a cry so very far away. He wanted to go back, but he sort of knew he couldn’t. Not now, not since he lost sight of how he got to this new world.
“This light is warm.” He said, “I see it that way, but it’s not the same.”
He shut his eyes and let out a long, tired sigh.
“I don’t want to be here.” He said, “take me away.”
The air tasted good in his lungs at that moment and he smiled at the sounds of the sky.
* * * *
“This place?” Riel pointed. Ana nodded.
“We used to live here.”
There was a van parked outside the old two-story and a blonde girl struggling with a hefty box from its backside. Riel looked at Ana and then went to go help her.
“Thanks.” She said as Riel played the mule up the stairs.
“Hey.” Ana asked, “Have you seen a kid around here, about our age?”
“Yeah!” The girl snapped to attention, “He was here about noon. He was talking all weird though, even though I was being nice.”
“Different, right?” Riel grunted, putting the box on the porch. Damned if he knew what was in it, but it was heavy.
“Something like that.” The girl shrugged, “Why? Do you know him?”
“He’s my brother.”
“And my friend.”
“Oh…” The girl shrugged again, “Well, if I see him again, I’ll let him know you’re looking. My name’s Katie, by the by.”
“Ana.”
“I’m Riel…thanks for your help.”
“Oh, no.” Katie waved her hand, “Thank you. That box was really heavy.”
Ana and Riel said their farewells and walked away. They had gone about a block when Ana snapped her fingers and made fists.
“I have another place to check.” She said, “This one’s closer, about three minutes away.”
“Oh? Okay, sure. You know, Henry could be at home right now.”
“Home?”
“He could have gone home and this could be a wild goose chase.”
“Maybe, but let’s check anyway.”
“Okay, okay.”
* * * *
“Three minutes, right.” Riel said, rolling his eyes. The sun had started to set and orange fire lit everything, layered with purple tones and twilight hues.
“I guess it seemed like a shorter time when I was a kid…” Ana explained, “Anyway, we’re here.”
She pointed at a cliff that edged the ocean. They both walked to the point and stood shoulder-to-shoulder, looking at the last screaming rays that the exploding farewell sun let out.
“We used to come here a lot with out parents.” Ana explained, “We had picnics and that kinda thing.”
“I see. It doesn’t look like Henry’s here.”
“No…I guess not.” Ana sighed, “I guess he went home.”
“So, all this was for nothing?”
“I guess so.”
Some birds chirped and the ocean crashed noisily against the base of the cliff. The sounds of nature stood in place of everything else and the air held still for some time, until Ana broke into laughter. Riel looked confused.
“What’s funny?”
“Me…me and you here, watching this sunset.”
“I don’t get it?”
“Neither do I!” Ana laughed, “Henry’s acting crazy and me and you chased him all around only to see this sunset! Henry went home and we got a sunset.”
“I still don’t see how this is funny.”
Ana squatted down and put her forehead on her knees. She laughed until her lungs hurt and she wasn’t sure if it was laughter or tears anymore. Riel looked at her slender back and took in a deep breath of the cold night air. He shook his head and leaned to pat the back of her head.
“Come on.” He said.
“Henry went home.” Ana said, her voice cut with exhaustion and slight traces of funny.
“That’s right.”
Ana lifted her head with her chin between her knees. She looked out at the ocean calmed before her and at the last trace of the circle sun. Tiny dots were starting to show their faces in the blackening velvet and silhouetted seagulls flapped away from land. The air was salty and smooth with cold, launching chills down both their spines. Ana felt something warm on her face and she rubbed it away with the back of her hand.
“Rell?” She asked, standing up.
“Yeah?”
“Come home with me.”
“What?”
“My Dad won’t be home until late. Besides, Henry’s waiting there for us, right?”
“He’d best be.”
“Good.” Ana rubbed her face again and grabbed Riel’s hand, holding it tight.
Together they ran off, away from the cliff, away from the ocean, away from the vanishing sun. Together, they ran home.
And they ran for a long time.
By Brian Conley
Ana tightened her robe around her snugly as she started the short trip from the bathroom to her room. The cold air of the outside hallway pressed against her as a wet blanket and some shivers marched neatly down her spine. She hugged herself and padded as quick as her still-sleepy body would let her over the chilled hardwood floor. As she passed her father’s door she heard the familiar muffled snoring from within and she smiled, glad to know that he was home okay from his graveyard shift. The next door in the row was wide open and she paused, just for a moment, to peer inside. It was her brother’s room, just as drab as it had ever been. The pale blue walls were the only color and the bed and dresser the only furniture. The only real source of entertainment were the piles of books stacked under the bed and sloppily wrecked over the floor. Ana made a face of concern, both because of its state and because its occupant wasn’t inside. It was unusual of her brother to be awake at such an early hour, more so considering that he had been downstairs watching TV past midnight when she had gone to bed. With a shrug she brushed it away, pushed forward by more chills over her skin. Moving a little quicker then before she proceeded to the last door in the row: hers. It was shut tight, as she left it, and as she gripped the knob and pressed her shoulder against the smooth grain to swing inside, she tossed another glance at her brother’s room.
The floor changed to carpet and it greeted her feet with warm smiles as she stepped onto it. Appreciative she was, now more then ever, that out of all the rooms in the house, her family had allowed her to choose the only plush-carpeted one. She looked down at her toes and wiggled them as she turned to close the door, watching how they pressed against the soft fabric. As she turned her back to face her room, she let out a yelp of surprise and pressed a hand against her heart. Sudden feelings of anger rolled through her, accompanying the next wave of shivers.
“Henry!” She said roughly, directing her bladed words towards her brother, who was standing in the center of the room. He was dressed in a ragged black hooded sweatshirt and equally old jeans, but no shoes. He was looking up at the ceiling, arms noodles at his sides.
“What are you doing?” Ana growled. Henry bent his head over his shoulder.
“I’m lost, Anny.” He said. His words were a sharp contrast to the tough tones Ana was using: they were soft as tissue and did spirals in the air.
Ana wrinkled her brow, “What do you mean?”
“I woke up this morning and I wasn’t where I was before.”
“Did you fall asleep on the couch?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“Everything’s different. Nothing is how it was before.”
“Henry…” Ana shook her head, “what are you doing in here?”
Henry flattened his eyes and painted a frown. He broke his eye contact and moved it to the floor.
“Do you remember how we always used to play in here?” He asked, “Always in Anny’s room. Never anywhere else.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s just a nice memory of before-times, that’s all.”
“Henry, you’re creeping me out a little. What’s wrong? What are you doing?”
“I…went to bed last night looking at the ceiling and when I woke up, things were different. I mean, everything looks the same, but its all different.”
More shivers came down Ana’s spine and she couldn’t tell if they were from being cold or from her brother’s cryptic words. With her index finger she swirled the air in front of her.
“Turn around and don’t look.” She said. Henry obliged. Once he looked away, Ana moved to her dresser and started changing, quickly picking out clothes and deftly removing her robe to change into them.
“So, I’m lost.” Henry said. Ana tugged her shirt on and scrunched her mouth to one side.
“I don’t understand. What do you mean? How can you be lost when you’re were you’ve always been?”
“It only looks like where I’ve always been, but it’s not. Everything is different.”
“Okay, I’ll bite.” Ana said, becoming distracted with her hair, “How is it different?”
“It all feels different. Smells different. Sounds different.”
“And me?”
“You’re different too.” Henry turned around and Ana met his gaze. For a second she forgot about her lack of pants and became entranced with the harsh stare that her brother offered her. His eyes, normally creased but alive, were so sullen today, like shiny pebbles underneath murky water. She had never seen him look like this.
“How am I different?” She asked, forgetting her bare legs completely and entrancing herself with her brother’s woes.
“You sound the same, you look the same, you smell the same…but like everything else, you’re different.”
“I smell the same?”
Henry walked the three steps to Ana and kissed her on the forehead.
“Different.” He said and walked out of the room, filling the silent void with the open-and-shut of the door. Ana rubbed the moist spot on her forehead and frowned.
* * * * *
It was mid-morning when Riel finally woke up enough to pay heed to his mother’s callings. After showering and getting dressed he clambered to the ringing phone and answered it, only to be caught in a monotone conversation and rewarded with instructions to shovel and salt the walk outside, which had been washed with snow during the night. Grumbling, Riel went to do as he was told. As he left the house, the chill of the winter air sliced at him, attacking him like invisible dogs at his exposed cheeks and wrists. He puffed out thin breaths into his gloved palms, going through the motion of warming his hands but receiving none of the benefit. It was mornings like this when he wondered why he got out of bed at all—things were warmer under his blankets.
Ah, well…He thought, walking down the front steps, shovel in hand, grabbed from its leaning position on the porch. It had snowed a decent amount through the night, no less then a foot, and it was a sticky, wet snow. The kind of snow where it was a chore to just get a shovelful, let alone lift it to toss it away. With groaning muscles and rolling chills he did so anyway, lifting and tossing the heavy substance in marching succession. It was on the fifteenth swing, by his obsessive count, did he notice the figure standing at the end of the walk, outside the chain-link fence. He stood wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and ratty jeans; his arms dead at his sides.
“Henry.” He said, stabbing his shovel into the ground and leaning on it. He puffed out thin clouds and smiled, “What’re you doing here so early?”
“Rell, I’m lost.” Henry said.
Riel tilted his head, “What? How so?”
“Everything is different. I’m not where I used to be.”
“You’re not making sense, Henry. You’re here, at my house. You’ve been here a million times. You can’t be lost.”
“I am. Very lost.”
“Maybe you’re just crazy.”
Henry looked up at the sky, “Hey, Rell, do you remember how me and you used to play all the time in this yard?”
“Yeah, of course I do.”
“Those were good times, back then.”
“Why are you talking like you’re going to die? There are more good times to be had here, Henry.”
He shook his head, “No. Rell, I’m too lost to find my way back.”
“Ah, again! What do you mean?” Riel let off of the shovel and crunched through the show to lean over the fence, close to Henry. He put a hand on his shoulder and huffed.
“When I woke up this morning, everything felt different. It all looks the same, but I’m in a different place. I’m lost.”
“And so am I. Henry, what the hell?”
Henry looked down from the sky and into Riel’s eyes. He staggered back a half-step, hit with concern about the new look he was given. Henry shot into his eyes a look of such washed worry that Riel felt a wave of serious concern crawl through him. He had never seen Henry look so…so…well, like that before. As Riel’s mind whirred, he couldn’t come up with any named emotion to place against how Henry looked at him. All he could think of what how a feather looks, dropping against a shallow puddle.
Henry took Riel’s hand and squeezed it tight. Riel shook his head.
“Henry, I’m worried. Are you alright?”
“Not alright.” Henry shook Riel’s hand and placed it back on the fence, “Lost.”
He started walking away and Riel stood, bewildered, until he was out of sight.
It was only then did he have the thought to fight the gate open and chase after him.
* * * *
Moving from house-to-house was a big hassle. Moving from state-to-state was even bigger. Doing both was a sure sign of the end of the world, or at least, many, many nerves. And to make matters worse: it snowed through the night, so Katie and her family would have to carefully traverse the hastily-shoveled path to and from the house to carry in the last of the heavy boxes. Scratch that: Katie herself would have to do so. Her family had gone out to do…whatever it was that needed to be done to secure the house and they left poor Katie alone to finish up with whatever boxes were stuffed in the back of the van. There weren’t many, but they were heavy and Katie’s arms were becoming wobbly from having to fight with lifting and carrying through the cold air. As a small condolence, however, Katie was pleased to have the mid-day sun kiss her enough to remove her hat and let her long blonde hair flutter in the cool breezes.
With an oomph she dropped another box labeled “outside” onto the porch and did a quick stretch-set before heading back down the shoveled path, which she equated in size to that of a rope bridge in the darkest jungles, to get back to the van. As she rounded the side to approach the open back, she saw somebody standing awfully close to it, in the street. He was a kid about her age, wearing an old sweatshirt with a hood pulled down and jeans that had ages embedded into them. His arms were loose at his sides and he was staring hard at the house.
“Um, hello?” Katie dared, deciding to play the friendly card and hope for good results, “Can I help you?”
“I’m lost.” The boy said. Katie bit her lip and studied his face. His eyes showed a stare that was like that of a fish flopping around on the ground. They seemed to stay forever still and yet had a viciousness about them, silently flopping. As she looked, she though that she might recognize him from her school…but she wasn’t sure, she had only gone one day.
“Are you from around here?” She asked, adding kindness songs to her words.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, then maybe you don’t come around here very often?”
“I used to live here.” The boy jutted his chin towards the house, “A long time ago.”
“Oh, really? Well, it’s a nice house. Um, it’s good to meet you, by the way. I’m Katie.” She extended her hand out but the boy ignored it. She scowled and carefully licked her lips, “So, do you need directions or something?”
“Everything is the same, so…no.” The boy shut his eye as he moved his head and opened them again to look at Katie. She stepped back once.
“You’re new, too. Different and new.”
“Yeah, just moved here Thursday.”
The boy nodded and bit his tongue as he turned around, walking in the opposite direction. Katie cocked her head as she watched him walk away, leaving deep footprints in the car-packed street snow.
What the heck…? She asked herself and pondered the mysterious boy long enough for her parents to return and lecture her on ignoring their instructions.
* * * *
“Rell?”
Riel turned around and saw a familiar face coming towards him, cutting out from the joining street. She was in a puffy pink coat and smooth jeans with her dirty blonde hair capped with a blue knit.
“Anny.” He said, waving a mitten in her direction. As she got closer he saw the look of concern express in her creases and he nodded, muttering the name as a question.
“Henry?”
“Ah, so he came to you, too!” Ana said, pressing her palms together.
“Yeah, and he was all weird.”
“Did he tell you he was lost?”
“Yeah!” Ana put her hands in her pockets and looked down at the ground, “Then he said everything was different and left…so I got dressed and went after him. Boy, I’m glad I ran into you! Now I know I’m at least on the trail.”
“Yeah, yeah. Did what he say to you make any sense?”
“Not really…he just brought up how we used to play and that they were better memories-“
“Hey, same here!” Riel made a fist, “He said everything was the same, but different…or something like that.”
“Mm-hmm. Rell, I’m really worried about him. He never acted like this before, I mean, there was some depression after out Mom died, but…”
“Do you think that could be it?”
“I don’t know! He was fine last night! And the night before! Heck, last night me and him played cards and watched the late-night shows! We talked! He told me jokes, made me laugh! I…I hit him with a pillow! I mean…it was normal!”
“And today he’s saying its all different.”
“Then he left us and is wandering…Rell, can you come with me?”
“Where?”
“I was just thinking—I might know where he went.”
“Oh?”
“It’s been a few hours, so he’s had time to get there on foot…come on.”
“O-okay…” Riel looked back down the road, up at the sky and then started after Ana, both of them moving in sprinting paces.
* * * *
It looked the same, the cliff and ocean beneath it, but it wasn’t. It was different. A fog, invisible and heavy, was here now and it shouldn’t have been. The birds chirped different notes in the paler sky above. The ocean crashed differently. The rocks were shapes Henry didn’t remember them as. His feet made different noises as he climbed to the point of the cliff and the rock felt different as he sat down on it. How many years, he thought, it should feel the same. It should be the same, but its not .
“I’ve wandered off the map.” He muttered.
He didn’t remember how he got so lost. He only remembered what happed in his life before he did. He remembered Anny, his sister. He remembered Riel, his best friend. He remembered the new girl at school, blonde and pretty. He remembered his life climbing like a ladder to the top, which was here, which was off the map, which was lost. He remembered going to sleep that night, he remembered waking up in a dream of blackness with nothing but hollow voices of his mother and father echoing around him.
He remembered a light.
He remembered a unmistakable scent of flowers.
He remembered his sister as a baby, sweet and soft.
And then he woke up in a place he had never been to before. A place that mirrored every faucet of his life perfectly but wasn’t it. It was a fake, a phony, a cry so very far away. He wanted to go back, but he sort of knew he couldn’t. Not now, not since he lost sight of how he got to this new world.
“This light is warm.” He said, “I see it that way, but it’s not the same.”
He shut his eyes and let out a long, tired sigh.
“I don’t want to be here.” He said, “take me away.”
The air tasted good in his lungs at that moment and he smiled at the sounds of the sky.
* * * *
“This place?” Riel pointed. Ana nodded.
“We used to live here.”
There was a van parked outside the old two-story and a blonde girl struggling with a hefty box from its backside. Riel looked at Ana and then went to go help her.
“Thanks.” She said as Riel played the mule up the stairs.
“Hey.” Ana asked, “Have you seen a kid around here, about our age?”
“Yeah!” The girl snapped to attention, “He was here about noon. He was talking all weird though, even though I was being nice.”
“Different, right?” Riel grunted, putting the box on the porch. Damned if he knew what was in it, but it was heavy.
“Something like that.” The girl shrugged, “Why? Do you know him?”
“He’s my brother.”
“And my friend.”
“Oh…” The girl shrugged again, “Well, if I see him again, I’ll let him know you’re looking. My name’s Katie, by the by.”
“Ana.”
“I’m Riel…thanks for your help.”
“Oh, no.” Katie waved her hand, “Thank you. That box was really heavy.”
Ana and Riel said their farewells and walked away. They had gone about a block when Ana snapped her fingers and made fists.
“I have another place to check.” She said, “This one’s closer, about three minutes away.”
“Oh? Okay, sure. You know, Henry could be at home right now.”
“Home?”
“He could have gone home and this could be a wild goose chase.”
“Maybe, but let’s check anyway.”
“Okay, okay.”
* * * *
“Three minutes, right.” Riel said, rolling his eyes. The sun had started to set and orange fire lit everything, layered with purple tones and twilight hues.
“I guess it seemed like a shorter time when I was a kid…” Ana explained, “Anyway, we’re here.”
She pointed at a cliff that edged the ocean. They both walked to the point and stood shoulder-to-shoulder, looking at the last screaming rays that the exploding farewell sun let out.
“We used to come here a lot with out parents.” Ana explained, “We had picnics and that kinda thing.”
“I see. It doesn’t look like Henry’s here.”
“No…I guess not.” Ana sighed, “I guess he went home.”
“So, all this was for nothing?”
“I guess so.”
Some birds chirped and the ocean crashed noisily against the base of the cliff. The sounds of nature stood in place of everything else and the air held still for some time, until Ana broke into laughter. Riel looked confused.
“What’s funny?”
“Me…me and you here, watching this sunset.”
“I don’t get it?”
“Neither do I!” Ana laughed, “Henry’s acting crazy and me and you chased him all around only to see this sunset! Henry went home and we got a sunset.”
“I still don’t see how this is funny.”
Ana squatted down and put her forehead on her knees. She laughed until her lungs hurt and she wasn’t sure if it was laughter or tears anymore. Riel looked at her slender back and took in a deep breath of the cold night air. He shook his head and leaned to pat the back of her head.
“Come on.” He said.
“Henry went home.” Ana said, her voice cut with exhaustion and slight traces of funny.
“That’s right.”
Ana lifted her head with her chin between her knees. She looked out at the ocean calmed before her and at the last trace of the circle sun. Tiny dots were starting to show their faces in the blackening velvet and silhouetted seagulls flapped away from land. The air was salty and smooth with cold, launching chills down both their spines. Ana felt something warm on her face and she rubbed it away with the back of her hand.
“Rell?” She asked, standing up.
“Yeah?”
“Come home with me.”
“What?”
“My Dad won’t be home until late. Besides, Henry’s waiting there for us, right?”
“He’d best be.”
“Good.” Ana rubbed her face again and grabbed Riel’s hand, holding it tight.
Together they ran off, away from the cliff, away from the ocean, away from the vanishing sun. Together, they ran home.
And they ran for a long time.