Summertime Daydream

[Lady Idril]

I wasn't really sure where to put this, so here it is. I wrote this when I went to Florida a few months ago. That was really it for inspiration..

Summertime Daydream

Barefooted walks,
Sunshine on my face,
The ocean begins its dance.
Strawberry innocence,
The waves, a provocation
Tempting me to join in their
Rampant freedom.
And music, the kind that blares;
You can’t help but dance to.
Symphonies of R&B style.
Acute rhythm, chronic beats.
While a withered book takes me on a fantastical trip,
To a land beyond belief,
Where a masked avenger is charming and lethal;
Where romance is sweet, but vengeance is sweeter.
And the world as I know it is now non-existent.
And the world as I want it is now a reality.
In the summertime of my mind.

[Andrea]

I like it. Some of the lines are a bit long, I would try breaking them down so each line has a similar amount of syllables. Also, a few semi-colons wouldn't come amiss.

[Lady Idril]

andrea said:

I like it. Some of the lines are a bit long, I would try breaking them down so each line has a similar amount of syllables. Also, a few semi-colons wouldn't come amiss.

Thank you very much! Yeah it's pretty random as far as the line lengths go. I'll take your advice ;D

[StoriesThatNeverWere]

How sweet this was! I love your comparison of a strawberry to innocence; it set up a very light mood for the poem. While I do agree the long lines do add somewhat of a off-rhythm, I very much enjoyed this.

Favorite line:

Strawberry innocence,
The waves, a provocation
Tempting me to join in their
Rampant freedom.

~Song <3

[Lady Idril]

Thank you very much, Song Yes, it kinda lacks a rhythm. There wasn't much thought process behind it when I wrote it, really. Just kinda wrote what I felt and branded it a poem. I'm glad you enjoyed it!