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Post by rayman112 on Jun 16, 2007 20:23:01 GMT -5
I wrote this when I was in school i hope you like it. A damsel described as a counterpart to deformity. Her beauty radiant, dazzling, divine and delicate captivates many who witness it. Many become breathless due to her distingct, delightfulness. But no matter how elegant still deceitful, demon like and devious. Daily many poor fellows betrayed feel eternal depression and damage. But even as darkness enshrouds her surface, and her movements define her dangers the explorer prevails. Despite her fair warnings the dare devil still cast out his sails to discover her secrets.Without despair the traveler fights through her elegant dance. desperately looking to find her secrets.
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Post by Dreamer on Jun 26, 2007 13:42:34 GMT -5
Gosh, I wonder why nobody's commented on this one!!! It's really, really good! I like how it told a story but with sort of a mystery left unsolved too... Nice job!
~Anna Christie~
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Post by rayman112 on Jun 26, 2007 19:16:49 GMT -5
;Dthanks, for your comment. I really appreciated it.
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Post by audreytassle on Dec 12, 2007 20:50:54 GMT -5
Ooh I like this! I really like the tone and the descriptions you used. Lotsa alliteration here, makes up for the lack of rhyme (not that all poems have to rhyme) but it was enjoyable, is what I'm trying to say. Only one spelling error: distinct* Anyway, I liked this. I find it a breath of fresh air compared to the usual poems of this genre. It reminds me of a succubus. =)
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