Post by Dreamer on Feb 20, 2009 10:39:07 GMT -5
Well then... I'm not sure this is the right category. I kept debating whether to put it here or under "Fantasy" but I finally chose here. Obviously, haha. Also, I haven't edited this really... I just wrote it so it's still raw and probably needs work but I wanted to put it here and get some constructive criticism if I could. So yeah, kind constructive criticism would be much appreciated! Thanks a million.
Rating: K+ (Just to be safe, though really I think it could probably be K.)
Dream[/u]
We’ll fly away tonight,
Past the second star to the right,
Before we turn out the light,
And dream of a world without the fight.
Past the Milky Way we’ll race,
And dip down below Orion’s Belt,
Who could have known this place,
Who could feel the way we’ve felt?
Shooting stars will zoom past us,
But we’ll lie quietly and dream of love,
Sprinkle a little magic with the lost, floating star dust,
And view beauty unlike anything, sent from heaven above.
Can there be a place this perfect and real,
Somewhere outside imagination’s walls?
Can there be anything to give such a thrill,
Where dreams abound, like the rain falls.
The nighttime sky, so full of powerful mystery,
I’ve tried to capture it somehow, perfectly.
I fear I may have failed, but we shall see,
For I’m not yet sure I’ve returned, or is this just insanity?
Take my hand once more,
And we can again take off and soar,
Past the second star on the right,
Before we turn out the light.
Anna Christie
Hope you enjoyed it, now be brutally honest, haha. Well, um... kindly honest.
Rating: K+ (Just to be safe, though really I think it could probably be K.)
Dream[/u]
We’ll fly away tonight,
Past the second star to the right,
Before we turn out the light,
And dream of a world without the fight.
Past the Milky Way we’ll race,
And dip down below Orion’s Belt,
Who could have known this place,
Who could feel the way we’ve felt?
Shooting stars will zoom past us,
But we’ll lie quietly and dream of love,
Sprinkle a little magic with the lost, floating star dust,
And view beauty unlike anything, sent from heaven above.
Can there be a place this perfect and real,
Somewhere outside imagination’s walls?
Can there be anything to give such a thrill,
Where dreams abound, like the rain falls.
The nighttime sky, so full of powerful mystery,
I’ve tried to capture it somehow, perfectly.
I fear I may have failed, but we shall see,
For I’m not yet sure I’ve returned, or is this just insanity?
Take my hand once more,
And we can again take off and soar,
Past the second star on the right,
Before we turn out the light.
Anna Christie
Hope you enjoyed it, now be brutally honest, haha. Well, um... kindly honest.