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Post by alanna on Oct 31, 2006 18:08:28 GMT -5
"To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
My name is not "Dark-Lord Happy Pants" and I shall not sign my papers as such.
I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room and make bets on who will come out alive. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher
I will not take a life insurance policy out of Harry Potter
I will not wear A DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school
I am not allowed to make light-saber sounds with my wand
I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort...Especially if Harry Potter's life is in the bargain...
I will not follow potions instructions backwards just to see what will happen I will not use silencing charms on my professors.
I am not allowed to require all first years to refer to me as "the most high and honorable master of the universe" and bang a gong whenever I enter a room.
Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
I do not weight the same as a duck.
newest stuff ENJOY LUV AL
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Post by Anime Monster on Oct 31, 2006 20:47:35 GMT -5
Funny, Al, I've got new ones, too.
This is mostly for all the Labyrinth fans:
The Quidditch balls will not hit the spectators. --no matter how close they are --telling first years they will is frowned upon --especially if you yell, "DUCK AND COVER!" everytime a bludger zooms by
Snape does not have a stick up his arse --neither does McGonagall --nor Lucius Malfoy --nor Voldemort --I should not shove one there --Suicide is frowned upon at Hogwarts
The moving stairs were not created by Jareth --I should stop shouting "YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!" everytime I walk up them
Asking the goblins to take my baby brother is mean --They don't answer to the Goblin King anyways --Asking them to take ME to him is stupid --Jareth wouldn't want me anyways
Remoing stones in the hallways and replacing them with others is against the worlds --Filtch will likely have a heartattack --Especially if Mrs. Norris fell into one of the missing spots
Marking the stones with red lipstick to tell the direction I went is unneeded --Even if the castle is like a Labyrinth --No the moving stair cases are not part of the Escher room --Jumping from the top will not cause them to break apart and lead me the final confertation with Jareth --Jumping from them will likely lead to my death --Filch has enough to clean up with Peeves, he doesn't need to clean up after me, either --The ghosts do not want a new playmate
Just because my sweater says "Obey Me" I can not enforce it --Allowing people to volunteerly do so is alright, though --As long as we do so in private --And don't use the Room of Requirement during DA meetings
DA does not stand for "Dumb Arse" --Nor does DADA stand for "Dumb And Demented Arse" --Unless one is talking about Umbridge or Snape --And one should not say that to their faces
And for the love of Merlin, I should stop replacing the word "god" with Merlin when I curse --Merlin d**n it is not sociably acceptable to say --Neither is Merlin bless you.
Slythines are not Emo --Even if they join evil cults
Jareth will not be the new headmaster --No matter how much I write owls to him
The owls are not Jareth in disquise --Even the white barn owls
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Post by alanna on Nov 1, 2006 22:33:22 GMT -5
SSwolf and i where ROLLING AROUND LAUGHING and where where in the school LIBRARY!!!!!! FUNNY luv al
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Post by Diclonius' Lilium on Jan 28, 2008 18:47:49 GMT -5
Haaaaaaaa.... hoo hoo hoo! Hilarious! I absolutely love it! It's a great break from the Harry Potter archives on Fanfiction Dot Net.
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Post by Lady Mage on Feb 5, 2008 10:43:30 GMT -5
No joke, huh?
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Post by Diclonius' Lilium on Feb 6, 2008 21:54:18 GMT -5
Mmhm. -solemn- It's hard to find really good fanfiction in the humor genre with OCs that don't make you realize what the Sue-bashers've been whinin' about in all the other fandoms.
You try to find a real good DracoxOC fic and you have to shift through mounds of DracoxSues (Who happen to be related to Snape or Harry [What part of Harry is an only child and Snape never had a kid don't these ladies get?!]) It ain't worth it!
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