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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 15:51:38 GMT -5
Admin Note: This work is being posted by the site admin as a Novice Writers Recommended story. The author may or may not be a member of the site, but they will be able to respond to any reviews you leave. So please review as you normally would. I also wish to mention that I have posted it exactly as it was posted on another site, so some author's comments may not make as much sense do to the fact that they were conversing with reviewers at the time. And in most cases they were just too funny to leave them out. Admin Added Disclaimer: We do not own anything in the Phantom of the Opera universe and no copywrite infringement is intended. Sorry guys had to put it in the first chapter to keep to the rules. Opera House Emails
by WassailWotters Part IFrom: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com CC: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz After our Hannibal success, we have decided to try a slightly more difficult opera, Il Muto. We are currently assigning parts, so feel free to beg and grovel… we mean, audition… In other news, we are please to say that we have acquired a new patron, le Vicomte de Chagny, who will be joining us for rehearsals next week. We feel certain that you will all find him an interesting addition to our community. His hair products have certainly made us into fans! Fans with shiny, raspberry-scented tresses! Most importantly, we have recently discovered a rather neat quiz thing. We have filled it out, and encourage you all to do so as well, so we can learn a bit more about each other in the spirit of togetherness. :-) Basic Info:Name? Gilles Lexi Andre; Richard Jean Firmin Age? 45; 46 Eye color? brown; chocolate Hair color? varying shades of grey Height? 4'9''; 6'1'' Faves:Country? France, of course! Food? Baguette Movie? Breakfast at Tiffany's. That Audrey is such a dear! Drink? A nice glass of milk Animal? Sheep… French sheep… Color? French aquamarine Are you:Nice? We like to think we possess genial natures :-) Sarcastic? We sure hope not! Funny? Knock knock! Finally:Do you remember your dreams? Yes, we dream of publicity, and queues all around the theater, and sometimes of milk and baguettes. Do you believe in soulmates? Quite so. Do you believe in love at first sight? Depends. What was your favorite childhood toy? A brilliant red firetruck. Thoughts on life? Have a scandal, and you're sure to have a hit! Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? Firmin; Paris Hilton (sorry Andre) What did you do before Opera? We invested in junk.. er, scrap metal. PS. Who is leaving those roses with black ribbons all over the place? They're absolutely ghastly when they wilt. Pray, do at least clean them up.. Your Managers, -Andre & Firmin “I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...” ------------------------------------------------- From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Lesson Tonight My apologies, but I will unfortunately not be here tonight for our lesson. It has come to my attention that the fools who run my theater are casting La Carlotta as the lead. Fear not, I will go and er.. "settle" the matter with them. -Your Angel of Music "The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind!” ------------------------------------------------- From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: RE: Lesson Tonight Of course, my dear tutor! I do hope everything goes as planned! As ever, I eagerly await our next lesson! Your Mask, -Christine "...angel of music..." ------------------------------------------------- From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Introducing… To my new friends at the Opera Populaire: I am sure that you have heard the most fortunate news of my recent patronage of your charming opera house. Now, you are all very talented people (especially that cute brunette!), but I noticed during my recent visit an alarming phenomenon: split ends! Yes, I know you must be as distressed as I am at the very suggestion, but take a deep breath and examine the ends of your hair. No, don’t get too depressed! I know what you must be seeing: a seemingly incurable malady affecting your precious locks of hair. But fear not, for with the help of my wonderful line of Vicomte Beautiful hair products, you too can have hair nearly as gorgeous and fluffy as mine! It may seem improbable, but after a few short years of faithful treatment with my shampoo, conditioner, gel, spray, other conditioner, special brushes, mousse, and little pink hair ribbons, your hair may even approach the caliber of mine! Don’t delay, order today! Free compact mirror possibly included if you are the lucky 100th customer… or that cute brunette… - Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny “I feel pretty, oh so pretty!” ------------------------------------------------- From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: squee! Phantom, I am writing to you as the official president of the Phantom of the Opera Phangirls United Team (POPUT). We are a group dedicated to phangirling you to the fullest possible extent. POPUT will not let any of those nasty rumors about you (really, designing nooses, what kind of psycho would do that?) get in the way of our love for you. Given this level of dedication, it would be really, really, really nice if you would let me into your lair, or give me some singing lessons, or write an opera for me! I am a lot prettier than that Christine, really; ask anyone around here. I also dance very well. Have you considered choreography? Really, it is all the rage. Composing is a little passé. With utmost love and adoration, -Meg Giry P.S.: Even a rose would be great! “Cute and blonde since 1854!” ------------------------------------------------- From: divalady(at)operapopulaire. com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: FW: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz I do hope, you little toad, that you are not thinking about trying out for the part of the Countess. It’s not that I’m worried that you’re a threat, because you are certainly not, but I just wish you’ll spare us the pain of hearing you croak such a lovely part. That part is meant for me and me only. Hands off! The True Prima Donna, -La Carlotta “Superior Singer” ------------------------------------------------- How’s this? Love it? Hate it? Should we continue? Leave us a review!
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 15:55:02 GMT -5
Oops, we forgot to include a disclaimer last time, so this is making up for it:
Disclaimer:Not ours. Make-up Disclaimer: Still not ours.
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Part II
From: maskseller(at)masksanonymous. com To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: New Items Now In Stock!
To our loyal customers:
Come in today and see the great new additions to our wide collection of masks for all occasions! Has your mask broken? Is it getting old? Has it gone out of fashion decades ago? Well, say goodbye to the paper bag with eyeholes, because our warehouse has every mask you will ever need!
In addition to the old classics, we have recently gotten in stock exciting new additions such as monkey masks, feathered masquerade masks, and a charming little one we have fondly dubbed the “Red Death.”
Don’t forget to order your mask today!
-Masks Anonymous Mask-Sellers
“Disguise yourself in style!”
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com To: divalady(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Your Threat
I am trying out for the part of the Countess, Carlotta. My angel of music has assured me that I fully deserve the part, and I have faith in his guidance! He was sent by my father to protect me, and I am ever so grateful for his help… -swoon-!
Once my angel… “speaks” with them… Andre and Firmin will see who truly deserves the lead role. Oh, my wonderful angel of music!
Hugs and Luvs, --Christine--
“…angel of music…”
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From: hotdates(at)matchmaker. com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Meet New People, FAST!
Looking for a date? Look no further! At matchmaker. com, you can find your dream man in 15 minutes or less!
Our spies… uh, we mean “research”… have shown that you might be interested in a musical man, which we have plenty of! You may also like sensitive, beautiful men, in which case you should contact one of our most popular clients, Foppy McFopperton!
With the help of matchmaker. com, your only problem will be deciding on a man!
-Matchmaker. com
“Where Lonely Hearts Meet (tm)”
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com To: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com CC: castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: Mass E-mails
Really, I had hoped you can think of better things to do with your time and hours than sending out mindless mass e-mail quizzes that do nothing but clutter up our inboxes. If you continue this, I’m afraid I will have to have a word with the Opera Ghost about you all. He has ways of taking care of these kinds of things!
Please, for the sake of the poor inboxes, do think before sending out mass e-mails.
-Antoinette
“Don’t just do it, dance it!”
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com CC: castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: Mass E-mails
Why, isn’t this the pot calling the kettle black! ;-)
All jests aside, we understand your concern, and will try to not to indulge our e-mail cravings.
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn!
Fantastic news, everybody! For the first time in six months, all three planets are appearing at the same time in the night sky! These flawless beauties shall be visible from precisely 12:04:37 AM to 12:04:56 AM to the naked eye.
M. Reyer, would you mind letting our fabulous cast and crew out of rehearsal early to witness this phenomenal sight?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a twice-in-a-year opportunity! You would do well not to pass it up.
Your Managers :-) -Andre & Firmin
“I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...”
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz
Basic Info:
Name? Marguerite Emilene Giry Age? sweet 16 Eye color? green as the sky Hair color? blonde! Height? 5’6’’
Faves:
Country? I’ve always wanted to visit Narnia.. Food? Biscuits.. especially slightly burnt ones Movie? Legally Blonde (plus both sequels!) Drink? Earl Grey tea, with one and a half sugar cubes Animal? I’m quite fond of sea turtles myself Color? All shades of yellow, like my purty hair
Are you:
Nice? Of course! Sarcastic? nope! Funny? Not really, but I know my idol must be… if only he would tell a joke for me… -sigh!-
Finally:
Do you remember your dreams? Only sometimes -blushes- Do you believe in soulmates? YES! Do you believe in love at first sight? Uh huh.. I remember the first time I saw him.. he looked so handsome in his cape and mask! -swoon- What was your favorite childhood toy? My first pair of pointe shoes Thoughts on life? No thoughts in my head but thoughts of love..! Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? Do you even have to ask? What did you do before Opera? Nothing, ballet was my life.. now.. he is.. -contented sigh-
“Cute and blonde since 1854!”
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From: Angelina(at)beautyunlimited. com To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: Order Confirmation
This email is confirm that “Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny” ordered:
12 Princess Pink Vintage Hair Ribbons
Your total is: 4999.99 francs.
These ribbons are guaranteed(I) to have been owned once by a genuine princess(II). Your order should come within 5-7 business days.
I. Well, almost guaranteed. II. Or maybe one of her ladies-in-waiting. Or maids. Or pet doggies. But what's the difference, really?
“Beauty Unlimited (tm): helping every girl feel like a princess.”
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Recent scientific experiments have shown a steady positive correlation between the number of reviews received and the speed with which the authors churn out new updates. So, if you guys aim for 5 (new) reviews, we'll aim for getting the next part out in 24 hours.
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 16:00:30 GMT -5
Firstly. we’re really, really, really sorry for the delay.. circumstances arose.. beyond our control.. please don’t Punjab us..
Okay, so we may have taken a few liberties in Raoul’s characterization, but we are really making fun of everybody, not just Foppy McFopperkins. There was a sad lack of defense on poor Meg’s part.. Let’s hear it for our favorite blonde!
And now, without further ado, we present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the next installment of Opera House Emails!
Disclaimer: We know it’s not ours, and yet, we wish it were.. oh God if we claim credit, what horrors wait for us.. in there, the plagiarizers’.. penitentiary? (ducks rotten veggies)
Translation: Not only do we not own the Phantom of the Opera, we also do not own the MySpace disclaimer which we, ah.. “creatively” modified for use in this chapter. -Sob!-
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Part III
From: newcomment(at)operaspace. com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: New Comments on your OperaSpace!
Dear Christine,
You have received 2 new comment(s) on your OperaSpace! Read them below.
From -Meggy-:
lol Christy I herd about ur fight wit Carlotta, thats sooo funny. like she could sing better than u!1! lol wutevs
From La Carlotta, Prima Donna Diva:
You little toads! If you think you will get away with this, you are very, very, very mistaken!1!one! Just wait and see who is the true star of this opera!
Disclaimer: At OperaSpace we value your privacy. We have sent you this notification to facilitate your use as a member of the OperaSpace. com service. If you don't want to receive emails like this to your external email account in the future, change your OperaAccount Settings to "Do not send me notification emails."
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: prettyinpink(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Cool Thing Attachments: Punjab.exe (15 KB)
I found a neat thing when I was surfing the net and thought you might, ahem.. have fun with it. If you click on it within 20 seconds of receiving it you may get a free ruffled shirt!
Love from A Friend
P.S.: You might want to mention to those thick-headed fools who “run” my theater that a similar experience will befall their precious computer should they neglect to pay the Phantom his dues. Enjoy!
"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind!”
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: LOST!
I’m normally not one for sending out unnecessary mass e-mails, but this is truly an emergency! I lost my favorite sparkly pen:-(
It’s purple, with a shiny star on the top.. you probably don’t care, but this pen has sentimental value.. it is very dear to me! I can’t live without it! I heart it oh so much!1one!111two!
Soooooo… if any of you see it, please please please please please give it back! 5 francs reward, and you may take a ribbon of your choice from my collection.. no questions asked!
PS.. I really, really, really miss it!
- Meg -
“Cute and blonde since 1854!”
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: FW: LOST!
Thanks to everyone to helped! My precious pen is once again safely in my possession! I really, really appreciate all you’ve done for me!1!1
Oh, and Monsieur le Vicomte, I looked up the information on that powder blue hair ribbon you picked.. it really is 100-percent silk with genuine pearls sewn on! Isn’t that wonderful! -squeal-
Thanks again everyone!
- Meg -
“Cute and blonde since 1854!”
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com CC: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: RE: LOST!
Once again, I ask that you all refrain from cluttering up our inboxes with mass emails!
Meg, dear, I know that pen is very important to you (I remember when you went through that phase when you couldn’t sleep unless you were holding it! Oh, you were darling, with Mr. Bearykins in one hand and the sparkly pen in the other… Oh yes, you simply must remind me to post that photo of you and Mr. Bearykins on the opera house website!), but no matter how important the matter seems, we all need to take a deep breath and think twice before sending out frantic mass emails! I hope this nonsense dies down soon, or I will consider more drastic measures.
-Antoinette
P.S.: Meggie darling, do remember to wash behind your ears when you take a bath tonight! I know how you tend to forget.
“Don’t just do it, dance it!”
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org To: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Job?
Gentlemen,
I would be most grateful if you’d offer me a job at your esteemed Opera Populaire. I am more than qualified for any position you might assign me to, too.. I am a man of many talents!
Besides, I hear that you have been having some problems with a certain “Opera Ghost.” Isn’t that correct? Now, you see, I may be able to aid in lessening the problem.. I’m not claiming to be able to fix it, but I might help delay any serious disasters for a little while for you to come up with a solution..
If that doesn’t convince you, let me play the pity card. Ahem: don’t you feel sorry for me that I was cut from the movie? Sometimes, I get so depressed I can’t find the will to go on.. I mean, for heaven’s sake I can’t even get a job! If I can’t get this post, I’m afraid I will have a mental breakdown..
So, the choice is in your hands, will you hire me?
Yours, Nadir Khan
“There’s a reason I’m not called ‘Apex.’”
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From: xoxgerikloverxox(at)phansunlimited. net To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Step Away From My Man!
Look, you little blonde twit, you might think you’re all that with your ballerina twirls, but you had better rethink your plan if you’re going after my Erik. My love for him knows no bounds, and I’m the only one in the world who really understands the inner torment he feels over his unfortunately sunburned face! I know he would never give the time of day to someone as obviously desperate as, but my soul-bond with him drives me to eliminate anyone as annoying to him as you must be. We are destined to be together, and as soon as he recognizes that fact I’m sure he’ll have no problem with me demonstrating my authentic Punjab lasso replica (made with the infinite passion of my heart!) on you.
-xoxGeRiKlOvErxox-
“From the computer of the future Mrs. Gerik!”
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Wow.. 20 reviews! We're touched, really.. (and not just in the head). Now, let's see: getting more reviews makes us happy authors. Happy authors write faster. If we get at least 15 more reviews, we'll post the next part ASAP (and we promise there will be no "circumstances" this time!) So, pretty please?
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 17:10:39 GMT -5
Disclaimer: You can use your imaginations and pretend you are reading a clever and witty disclaimer here… it’s a better use for your mind than phantasizing about Gerik! (note, that was author #2. Author #1 is a whole-hearted Gerik supporter)
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Self-Introduction!
Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Opera Populaire,
I am very glad to have recently joined your fine opera house! I am Nadir Khan and I am a new stage hand.
I would like to offer for your pleasure lending access to my extensive library of books! I have a great variety of both novels and non-fiction and I’d be more than happy to share them with my new friends here at the Opera Populaire.
Here is one book you may like. Email me back to reserve it if it has piqued your interest!
Tombstones and Roses: Hauntings Across Europe: This collection of short, ghost-related stories brings up the eternal question: do supernatural creatures exist, or are they simply psychopathic, tortured men hiding in underground lakes and torture chambers- I mean, products of the mind? There’s only one way to find out, and it may or may not be reading this book.
-Nadir Khan
“There’s a reason I’m not called ‘Apex.’”
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz
Hi everyone! And sorry Mme Giry.. but Meg’s putting me up to this.. please don’t be unnecessarily cruel tomorrow during practice.. really, my body’s just not meant to do a split!
Basic Info:
Name? Christine Eloise Daae Age? 16 and still unmarried.. I’m such a disgrace.. Eye color? blue-ish green.. like the sea where my brave hero went in to rescue my scarf for me.. :-) Hair color? I’m a brunette, and proud of it. Height? 5’7’’, 2 inches shorter than my darling fiancé
Faves:
Country? Sweden Food? Swedish fish (yes, the candy. Whatever else could I mean?) Movie? Pride and Prejudice.. Raoul’s kinda like that Darcy fellow.. they’re both so brave, and handsome, and rich, and oh I can just go on and on! -swoon- Drink? Coffee.. I do live for caffeine.. It is the secret to my success! Animal? I detest all animals; they're so.. icky.. Color? Blue, like the blue of my darling Raoul’s eyes.
Are you:
Nice? Some think I’m nice, others think I’m just clueless.. it all depends on your perspective.. and how much you’re love with Gerik.. Sarcastic? no, not at all Funny? Not really, but only because I don’t speak up at all.. really, it’s much better to spend the whole day with a shocked expression on your face..
Finally:
Do you remember your dreams? In sleep he sang to me.. in dreams he came.. Do you believe in soulmates? yep, Raoul’s my soulmate; he protects me from the evil yet extremely attractive man in my mirror. Do you believe in love at first sight? Certainly not! I only started to love Raoul several years after we initially met! But now I see the mistake I made all those years, and he is my beloved fiancé.. -heart-! What was your favorite childhood toy? The scarf that Raoul fetched from the sea Thoughts on life? Nope. I don’t think. I simply… experience! Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? My beloved Raoul.. I’m sure he could save us! What did you do before Opera? My father went around and played music, so I just stayed home and played with Raouly-poo… he was so cute when he was little…
“…angel of music…”
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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: RE: Cool Thing
I hope you don’t think that I am stupid and obsessed with ruffled shirts enough to open that virus you sent me! Well, anyways, I did get it off of my machine, but it took me over 10 minutes- nice work. Next time though, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make my computer screen continuously flash “Warning, warning, FOP ALERT!” I was truly offended by that. Really, I no longer feel warm and fuzzy inside. :-(
Perhaps we should form a friendship over our shared interest in computers. What do you say to putting aside our differences? I can even give you fashion advice (that black swishy cloak is sooo 1700s).
-Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny
P.S.: Christine asked me to pass along a little message for you. You can find it here… have fun with it:)
“I feel pretty, oh so pretty!”
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: New Book!
I have recently added some new books to my collection. Here is information about one; feel free to email me and reserve the book if you like what you see!
Weapon-Crafting For Beginners: Complete with easy-to-follow diagrams and handy informational guides, this book makes it easy to create your own versions of such classic weapons as the noose, the rack, and even the rare Punjab lasso. Just remember to keep your hand at the level of your eyes!
-Nadir Khan
“There’s a reason I’m not called ‘Apex.'”
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From: customerservice(at) romancenovels. com To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Order Confirmation
This email is confirm that “Maguerite Emileen Giry” ordered:
1 The Complete Adventures of Princess and Prince Erik Your total is: 49.99 francs.
“Romance novels – escape the mundane and venture into the world of phantasy!”
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com To: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org Subject: Mass Email Etiquette
Mr. Khan, I understand that you are a new member of our community, but I would assume that you understand basic manners in sending out mass emails: that is, don’t send them. If we want to know about the contents of your private collection, we will ask!
Does no one in their opera house understand basic manners?
-Antoinette Giry
“Don’t just do it, dance it!”
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. net To: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com CC: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: RE: Mass Email Etiquette
I have one more book that may interest this community! Remember, email me back, first come, first served. I am guessing this one may be popular.
Dealing with the Nag in Your Life: This is a helpful guide to avoiding the stresses that come along with having a nosy, bossy person in your life. Learn how to retain control of your mind, your temper, and your free will. Also includes some helpful tips on untraceable poisons.
-Nadir Khan
“There’s a reason I’m not called ‘Apex.’”
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org Subject: Announcing: The Opera Populaire’s Chatroom of Grand Debauchery!
Well, maybe not quite “debauchery”...
Ladies and Gentlemen:
We are hosting a Chatroom Ball on the 17th of May, which is next week. In light of our recent victory over the Opera Ghost (we mean, has anyone heard from the man in days!), we believe that a night of celebration is in order! Now, at 8 PM on that day, we encourage you all to sign in on our new website – www. operapopulaire. com – with a pseudonym, and have fun chatting with your fellow cast and crew members. We hope that you will all get to know each other better after this e-Bal Masque!
You Managers, Andre & Firmin
P.S.: The only downside of this online ball is that you will have to provide your own punch and spike it yourself…
“I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...”
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Authors’ Note: Next chapter will be the first special, so review (please?) and come back to read the Opera Populaire Masked Ball/Chatroom of Debauchery!
Additional Authors’ Note: We had the idea of making another special later in the phic where readers can write in emails to the characters and they will reply. Would that break any ff. net rules? Do you guys like the idea?
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 17:58:50 GMT -5
Note: if, for some reason, this phic goes “poof” and disappears off the face of FFN, we will attempt to upload it elsewhere. So in case of an emergency, check our profile.
Disclaimer: The only thing PotO we own is a way over-played copy of the 2004 movie, and Author #1’s prepared to defend it to the death. (-hearts- Gerry) Yes, it’s rather pathetic that we have yet to read the books..
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Part V – Special Features (aka Chatroom of Grand Debauchery)
-Firmin- has entered the room.
-Andre- has entered the room.
Andre: this was a splendid idea!
Firmin: yes, truly genius!
-NotaNag- has entered the room.
Firmin: I do hope we’ll have a good turn out!
NotaNag: I agree..
NotaNag: turn out is important in all dances, but exceptionally so in ballet
-Apex- has entered the room.
Apex: oh God
Apex: it’s the Nagging One
Apex: this party’s as good as over
NotaNag: I wouldn’t nag if you’d just be a bit more mature
NotaNag: besides, that insult was uncalled for and you know it
Apex: was not :-P
NotaNag: was too!
Andre: oh, come now
Apex: nuh uh!
Andre: let’s all be adults about it
NotaNag: yeah huh!
-StaroftheShow- has entered the room.
StaroftheShow: oh hiya!
StaroftheShow: I’m not late, am I?
Firmin: I would say you’re just in time, actually
Apex: whoever you are, you must be better company than that monster
NotaNag: you’re the one without any common courtesy!
NotaNag: when I was a young girl, growing up the countryside of France, my mother taught me manners
NotaNag: I learned to respect my betters and act with politeness towards everyone
NotaNag: people these days- especially foreigners- don’t understand how to act with good manners
NotaNag: why, if only I was in charge of this establishment…
-GorgeousLocks- has entered the room
GorgeousLocks: hello everyone!
Apex: oh thank God
Andre: yes, I was rather beginning to fear for our party
-ToadHater- has entered the room
Firmin: don’t worry, Andre, the ball will go on!
ToadHater: of course it will.. and better than ever, now that I am here!
GorgeousLocks: indeed.. who are you?
Firmin: this is a masked ball! we do not reveal our identities yet!
GorgeousLocks: but everyone else’s seems obvious
Apex: not yours!
NotaNag: for once, I must agree.. I know many people with lovely hair. Meg, deary, could that be you?
GorgeousLocks: I am offended by that! None of their hairdos compares to mine!
StaroftheShow: hey, be right back, I need to grab a snack
Andre: hurry back, you don’t want to miss the celebrations!
-StaroftheShow- has left the room.
-HiddenBeauty- has entered the room.
HiddenBeauty: hello everyone, I apologize for my lateness
HiddenBeauty: I trust I have not missed anything important?
Apex: no no, we’re just trying to figure out who GorgeousLocks is, care to venture a guess?
HiddenBeauty: Hmm.. I think I have a pretty good idea who it is.. -wink wink-
GorgeousLocks: Oh yes? -blushes-
HiddenBeauty: Tell, do the words “Angel of Music” mean anything to you?
GorgeousLocks: Yes, it does! Now I’m certain I know who you are, too, HiddenBeauty ;-)
HiddenBeauty: Quite so.. hey.. after this.. wanna join me for an after-party?
Firmin: Ahem.. this is really not the celebration we had in mind, ladies and gents..
GorgeousLocks: Oh come now.. lighten up! Have some champagne..
HiddenBeauty: There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you
GorgeousLocks: ah oui?
-StaroftheShow- has entered the room.
StaroftheShow: back! What did I miss?
HiddenBeauty: Christine, I love you…
StaroftheShow: what?
GorgeousLocks: oh shush it, La Carlotta, no one cares about what you have to croak about it.. Christine, what did you mean?
ToadHater: hey… watch what you’re saying!
-TheAmateur- has entered the room.
TheAmateur: this looks like a nice little party!
StaroftheShow: who is that?
Andre: no asking, remember! but I admit I am curious, too…
HiddenBeauty: Nadir, is that you?
Apex: of course not!
ToadHater: is it Raoul?
GorgeousLocks: why would Raoul be an “amateur”!
HiddenBeauty: I should have known you’d take his side…
TheAmateur: I am much manlier than that fop!
Firmin: no name-calling, people, this is a friendly party!
Andre: indeed, in the spirit of community bonding :-)
HiddenBeauty: how… charming…
-LovesTaFlirt- has entered the room.
LovesTaFlirt: oh, is everyone else here already?
NotaNag: it seems to be so
LovesTaFlirt: gee, I wonder which one is my idol…
GorgeousLocks: well, I know everyone loves me
HiddenBeauty: thanks to my help
ToadHater: but I am the true figure of worship at this opera house!
TheAmateur: no one loves me, thanks to my 3rd-degree sunburn… -angst!-
HiddenBeauty: whine, whine.. you think you have it bad…
LovesTaFlirt: ooh! I know! Let’s play 20 questions to guess who TheAmateur is!
Firmin: a brilliant idea! I’ll start..
Firmin: are you a male?
TheAmateur: yes.
StaroftheShow: are you particularly attractive?
TheAmateur: some think that I’m devastatingly handsome.
HiddenBeauty: it’s probably the fop!
GorgeousLocks: I resent that!
HiddenBeauty: of course you would.. who wouldn’t defend their fiancé? pfft.
HiddenBeauty: I wonder.. can you sing?
TheAmateur: I try.. but I go flat on every other note, so no.
GorgeousLocks: so I guess it’s not the creep who lurks behind 2-way mirrors in girls’ dressing rooms…
HiddenBeauty: …
GorgeousLocks: what?
HiddenBeauty: I’ve never seen this vicious side of yet, and I must confess it is most off-putting.
Andre: ahem. moving on.. are you particularly fond of books?
TheAmateur: I supposedly have a large collection.. but no one knows what happened to it..
NotaNag: aha! so it’s not the mass e-mailer either.. interesting..
LovesTaFlirt: Monsieur, do you have blonde hair?
TheAmateur: As a matter of fact, I do!
StaroftheShow: I know of only one man with blonde hair..
HiddenBeauty: that is! It’s the fop.. aren’t you? Confess!
GorgeousLocks: you’re being particularly abusive today.. :-(
HiddenBeauty: when am I not abusive?
GorgeousLocks: umm..!
TheAmateur: No no, I’m not the pretty boy.. thank God.
ToadHater: Piangi, it’s you, isn’t it? Oh how absolutely exhilarating!
StaroftheShow: why are you so excited? Don’t you hate Piangi?
TheAmateur: Nope. I, thankfully, am of a healthy weight.
ToadHater: Whatever do you mean? Piangi-kins isn’t overweight!
StaroftheShow: so why are you defending him?
GorgeousLocks: bloop bloop bloop bloop
HiddenBeauty: GorgeousLocks, my dear, are you feeling alright?
ToadHater: definitely not! I -heart- him!
GorgeousLocks: everything’s just peachy!
GorgeousLocks: I just found my favorite volumizing shampoo :-D
StaroftheShow: what in the world? Gah.. I’m sooo confused.. :-(
Firmin: I think it’s safe to say that we’re all confused..
NotaNag: next question, do you live in this opera house?
TheAmateur: one could say that
ToadHater: I have one.. what is your favorite possession?
Andre: yes-or-no questions only!
Firmin: we’ve broken most of the chatroom rules already, though…
TheAmateur: I will answer that… my favorite possession is a musical monkey
GorgeousLocks: a musical… monkey! what kind of possession is that?
Apex: that sounds familiar…
StaroftheShow: Erik, Angel of Music, is it really you?
HiddenBeauty: That’s impossible. I’m Erik!
TheAmateur: Not exactly..
GorgeousLocks: What! Do you mean to say you’re not Christine!
HiddenBeauty: Of course I’m not Christine! Aren’t you Christine?
GorgeousLocks: No at all! I’m Raoul! I thought you knew!
TheAmateur: The thing is..
Andre: Is Christine even here?
StaroftheShow: Yeah, I’m here..
GorgeousLocks: But wait, La Carlotta loves these events
HiddenBeauty: For once, I agree with the fop. If you’re not her, who’s she?
ToadHater: You called?
TheAmateur: Oh nevermind..
GorgeousLocks: Dear Lord, La Carlotta! I thought you were that mutant!
StaroftheShow: Raoul, please don’t..
HiddenBeauty: Understandable; we don’t look all that different..
GorgeousLocks: D’oh! Well, as long as you know..
StaroftheShow: Raoul!
LovesTaFlirt: Sorry, but wait.. so TheAmateur, who exactly are you?
TheAmateur: As I was saying, I’m another version of Erik
Firmin: You’re Gerik!
Andre: I knew it, I knew it!
Apex: I’ve heard of you! You’re the one with legions of “phangirls”…
TheAmateur: that’s a bit exaggerated…
NotaNag: no, it’s not
Firmin: I must agree with NotaNag
Andre: and I, of course, with Firmin
LovesTaFlirt: so are you saying.. there are two of them!
HiddenBeauty: it… seems so…
TheAmateur: I am, of course, the more dashing and all-around better one
ToadHater: you can’t even sing!
TheAmateur: well…
HiddenBeauty: and you’re not actually disfigured… poser
GorgeousLocks: making you a talentless psychopath… yes, dashing indeed…
TheAmateur: at least Christine loves me more!
StaroftheShow: I really don’t understand who you are!
LovesTaFlirt: Christine, he’s that drop-dead gorgeous one in the movie!
StaroftheShow: the sexy beast! Ohh.. he was hot!
GorgeousLocks: Christine!
StaroftheShow: oops.. did I really say that?
LovesTaFlirt: Oh Gerik.. I love you!
TheAmateur: oh really? -flexes muscles-
LovesTaFlirt: if it doesn’t work out with Christine, be sure to e-mail me at blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com!
TheAmateur: yes ma’am! -wink wink, nudge nudge-
StaroftheShow: but but.. Gerik.. don’t you love me:-(
TheAmateur: I do! But you’re going to run of with the no-good pretty boy and leave me broken-hearted and miserable, so I may as well have a sort of uh.. “insurance policy..”
StaroftheShow: nooo! I don’t love Raoul..
GorgeousLocks: what!
StaroftheShow: sorry.. but I just can’t stand the long-haired thing any longer..
HiddenBeauty: yes!
TheAmateur: score!
HiddenBeauty: wait… now which one of us is it that she loves?
Firmin: this might be a good time for the “ball” to end!
Andre: I agree.
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Comments? Concerns? Complaints? Want to tell us it’s so horrible that we should never attempt something like this again? You can direct that to the reviews page!
Note from Author #2: In the ending of this special, you might observe Author #1’s true colors (the side of her which is a die-hard E/C “phangirl”) showing through. Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep her in check; I’m just in it to make fun of everybody!
Note from Author #1: I resent that. I’m not really an Erik-“phan”.. in fact, before the 2004 movie, I whole-heartedly supported Raoul. So see, I’m really a Gerik-“phan.”
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 18:18:10 GMT -5
Authors’ Note: We noticed some confusion over our identities in the reviews… yes, there are two of us! To clear this up, we decided to introduce each other to you.
Author #1 is Eloise, the mad Gerik phangirl. She also rabidly ships Erik/Christine. Her hobbies include watching the PotO movie in English, then in French, then in English again, (and the bonus disc, you can't forget the bonus disc!) and also serenading people with songs from the movie. Don’t worry, we have ways of making her stop when she gets too enthusiastic. She is very ticklish. She is also a part-time genius and ballerina.
Author #2 is Elizabeth, the anti-PotO advocate. She refuses to read the books, claiming that they are a waste of her time, and we suspect she hasn’t seen the movie yet (oh wait, nevermind, she says she has.. but we’re doubtful because she can’t remember anything from it). She find’s Author #1’s endearing habits slightly strange, and would take any opportunity to mock her, being the cruel person that she is (just kidding… please don’t Punjab me). She is also brilliant, magnificent, and all-around awesome.
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Part VI
From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: RE: Cool thing
That was a nice try, but I knew your link to “Christine’s message” was a virus! After all, if my Christine wanted to tell me something, she would simply call her Angel of Music, not deliver the message through an air-headed fop. I opened the link to make sure- but I did it on your computer. Have fun, because I know you made the virus as hard to disable as you could.
Also, I apologize for hurting your precious feelings with the “FOP ALERT” virus, but I’m sure you’ll agree that seeing “PSYCHOPATH PERVERT MIRROR-STALKER” displayed on the computer screen in giant font is rather hurtful as well. However, it really doesn’t have the same succinctness or ring to it…
-Erik
P.S.: I think we have moved beyond the juvenile games of computer-virus sending. Truce?
“The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…”
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: A Favor Attachments: reddeath.vbs
Christine, your dear tutor would ask of you but one favor: Go onto that fop’s- I mean, your fiancé’s- computer and open the attached program. Don’t tell him you did it!
Thank you, dearest.
“The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…”
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org Subject: Who Loves Bubble Gum?
Answer: Everyone does!
We are pleased to announce that a company which we ourselves started in the early days of our entrepreneurship, Bubbly Goodness Inc., has come out with a new flavor of gum! Since starting the business, we have passed on ownership to a nephew of Firmin’s, but we are still intimately connected with the company (and we get a cut of the profits), so we are selling their products through mail-order to this Opera House.
The latest flavor is blueberry, and it joins an extensive line already featuring such delicacies as pomegranate, seaweed, rum, roast beast, cheddar, oatmeal, and the old favorite: Pure Sugar (tm).
Email us back to receive an order form today!
Your Managers, Andre and Firmin
“I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...”
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From: bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net To: prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: My Undying Love and Devotion
My darling La Sorelli,
Mere words cannot express my feelings – oh, such strong feelings – for you, so I have taken the liberty of writing you a poem.
From the moment I first saw you, In your tutu of powdery blue, Twirling away across the stage, Showing off your youthful age, I knew you were a jewel to behold, The thought struck me, it was ever so bold! And with such a wit, you’re surely smart, And have thus captured my heart. My loveliest of lovelies, darling, Your eyes shine with a light so sparkling, It’s a sign from the Heavens above That I am forever bound you to love. Oh! That love’s fleeting spell! Eternally in my heart you dwell.
Lovingly Yours, Philippe
“Everybody loves a well-educated man!”
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From: prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com To: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: FW: My Undying Love and Devotion
Eeeeek! Oh-em-gee, Meg! Do you think he likes me! What do I do, what do I do! Should I reply? Does that seem too forward? Do you think this is some sort of sick practical joke? Help me!1!11!112! You know.. he’s soooo handsome! And his eyes.. they’re soooo dreamy! Meeeeg… what do I doooooo?
-Sori
"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemblé!"
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: RE: A Favor
Angel of Music, I don’t know how to tell this to you, but… the things that I said in that chatroom… well, I wasn’t thinking properly. You see, when I went down to get my snack, I saw some of the ballerinas in the kitchen. They were fixing these drinks that looked very good, so I took one when they offered it to me. Well, I ended up having several (they really tasted excellent!), and I can’t say I remember much of the night after that… However, I did look in the chat log that Andre & Firmin posted on the website.
I can tell I said some foolish things- which of course I never usually do!- and I apologize for deceiving you. I still love Raoul… how could I not? He is my dear fiancé who saved my scarf when we were young! Oh, how wonderful he is!
So, my tutor, I ask that you forget what I said last night. I am so embarrassed! Mortified, really! But I know my Raoul will save me from any nasty rumors. As an apology, I will do as you requested. Isn’t it sweet that you and Raouly-dearest get along so well that you would write a cute little program for him!
Luv (but not like that!), Christine
“…angel of music…”
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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: A Poem For My Christy-poo
Christine, my dearest, my turtledove,
On the advice of my brother Philippe I shall write you a love poem! He claims that it worked so well on La Sorelli, and I know you deserve the best even more than she does… -heart-! Philippe suggested a sonnet, but I am a master of a much more sophisticated verse.
ahem…
There once was a girl named Christy When she sung, peoples’ eyes got misty She was lovely, for sure And many men loved her But Raoul was the only one she kissed-y!
Your Pookie-tootles, Raoul
“I feel pretty, oh so pretty!”
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From: frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com To: balletrats(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: Today’s Rehearsal
Ballerinas,
I am very disappointed in many of you after today’s astonishingly bad performance! The number of you who wobbled around, claiming to have headaches, was horrific. I expect much better performance from my ballerinas in the future. I suggest you practice your pirouettes and fouettes tonight so that you are better prepared for tomorrow’s lesson.
--Mme. Giry
“Don’t just do it, dance it!”
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com com To: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. Subject: RE: A Favor
My Dear Protégé,
If you are worried that I do not return your sentiments, let me assure of my affections, my ardent love, the adoration which blossoms like the de-thorned roses I seem to have so many of, along with endless black ribbons, for you.
Ever since I started to spy on you through the two-way mirror in your dressing room since you were a wee seven-year-old.. ahem. Somehow that sounds a tad wrong.
Let me rephrase that. From the time when I started teaching you my music, gave you everything I had, poured my soul into making you an acclaimed diva, and made you address me as “Master”.. er.. that doesn’t sound right either.
The bottom line is: you belong to me, and only me!
Your Master, O.G.
“The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!”
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From: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: FW: A Favor
Oh Raouly-poo!
He frightens me so! Save me from him, please! He’s such a perverted monster!
And yet, I’m strangely attracted to him… umm… I didn’t mean that.
Please, if you love me, banish this unending night! And, if you can, also consider cutting your hair…
Your damsel in distress, Chrissie
“…angel of music…”
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire, com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org Subject: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz
Dear Manager, I’d have hoped you’d find something better to do than sending out brain-dead mass e-mails. As such, I was slightly amused by the quiz, so I’m not going to kill you just yet.
Basic Info:
Name? Erik Matthew Charles Ward Destler Age? it really depends on the production Eye color? a nice mixture of red and yellow Hair color? blonde -cringes- Height? 6-feet-plus of manly-muscle
Faves:
Country? I have no allegiances. Food? I don’t require food. Movie? Beauty and the Beast. I hope the significance is obvious. Drink? I don’t drink either… but in some “phanfics,” a nice glass of quality wine Animal? The rats that keep me company in the cellars below Color? Black. Duh.
Are you:
Nice? Have we met? Sarcastic? Oh dear God, I sure hope not.. -sarcasm drips- Funny? I seem to have developed a morbid sense of humor… probably from reading all those entries to the PFN Morbidity Contests…please.. I’m not going to dig up Raoul’s rotting body and kiss his non-existent lips!
Finally:
Do you remember your dreams? I don’t sleep either, you dimwits. Do you believe in soulmates? Take a wild guess there. Do you believe in love at first sight? I first saw Christine when she was 6, so… no. But she holds a special place in my heart nonetheless. What was your favorite childhood toy? That paper-mache monkey they showed in the 2004 movie, well, it was my only toy.. Thoughts on life? Strangling people is an excellent pastime Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? A boat-building expert. What did you do before Opera? I played the lead in a gypsy freak-show.
Yours, O.G.
“The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!”
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Please review, it makes us incredibly happy… and incredibly happy authors write more!
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Post by Recommended on Aug 16, 2006 18:29:29 GMT -5
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue; we don’t own PotO, and neither do you.
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Part VII
From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: You evil, evil man
Eeeee! How dare you threaten my dear, kind, naïve, wishy-washy, you-get-the-point Christine? I’ll have you know that if you do not cease this abuse immediately, I will be forced to.. umm.. take actions as soon as I finish blow-drying my hair.
- De Chagny
“I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!”
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: You evil, evil man
My dear wittle foppity fop,
I’m afraid that such coarse language does not become one as delicate as you. Please reword your e-mail, and I will gladly get back to you on that.
O.G
PS. I think you may want to switch conditioners; your hair’s starting to frizz.
“The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!”
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From: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net Subject: The Fiend Beneath Us
I know that many of us in this community are aware of the presence of the so-called “Opera Ghost.” However, I am worried that you do not know his true nature. This “Opera Ghost” is no supernatural, powerful force; in fact, he is a whiny psychopath who likes to hide in the basement and perve on women through mirrors. If we cease these ridiculous payments to him and drive him out, we will be a much safer opera house. As it is, his unbalanced mind might grow even more feeble and lead him to stealthily kill us all through use of his sooper-sekrit tunnels. He wouldn’t even spare my beautiful face (and hair)! Join me by signing the petition located outside of the ballerinas’ dressing room (not that I have ever lurked around there before!).
Thank you, Le Vicomte de Chagny
“I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!”
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From: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com To: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net CC: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net Subject: RE: The Fiend Beneath Us
My most esteemed Monsieur le Vicomte,
Please note that, as I have a (at)operapopulaire. com e-mail address, I am also part of the “castncrew” mailing list. Thus, it might be in your best interest not to go through with this plan, now that I know about it.
And a word of warning to my dear managers, I’d like you to double my salary from now on, or a disaster beyond your comprehension will occur.
Yours, O.G.
“The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!”
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From: blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com To: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com Subject: That Nasty Petition!
Dear Mr. Phantom, sir,
I am writing to offer my support to your tragic plight! I know you are just a sad and misunderstood guy and you have done nothing to deserve the insults of this meanie (although he is a pretty-haired meanie!). We phangirls at POPUT are fully in favor of your staying at the opera house 4ever!1! To take a stand against the petition, we signed it with a bunch of really funny fake names like “U. R. Dum”! Isn’t that clever?
You know, if you would ever like to stop by and, say, watch the ballet rehearsal, I’m sure you would find me—I mean, all of us—very cute and dateable!
Hearts from, Meg
“Cute and blonde since 1854!”
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net Subject: FW: RE: The Fiend Beneath Us
Everyone,
Do not panic! It is simply a hoax.. simply a hoax.
After carefully scrutinizing the e-mail from “O.G.” we are certain it is not from the real Opera Ghost. If you read his last line carefully, he says “a disaster beyond your comprehension will occur.” Any loyal phan knows that the correct phrase is “a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.” Therefore, we are positive as protons that it is not from the Opera Ghost, or even a relatively informed phan, and we all know that those are the most dangerous.
Your loving Managers, Andie & Firmie
“I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...”
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From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net Subject: Selling: Persian Rugs!
Dear all,
As some of you may know, I have recently started a rug-making business, and would most appreciate your patronage.
To start, I have been making genuine Persian rugs – to some they may resemble rag-rugs, but I assure you, they are all handmade by a real Persian, yours truly!
Now, they take about a week to make, so be sure to place your order early! I imagine they will be approximately fifty thousand francs each. You may think to yourself “golly gee! That’s forty more than ones made by true experts!” but don’t worry, the craftsmanship is unquestionably superior.
Looking forward to doing business with you all, Nadir Khan
“There’s a reason I’m not called ‘Apex.’”
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From: divalady(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org Subject: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz
I have noticed a new fad in taking this little quiz that has been circulating. Well, as we all know, fads are not truly stylish until I, La Carlotta, follow them. You can rest assured, because I will now take this quiz. I know you are dying to know more about moi.
Basic Info:
Name? La Carlotta is my stage name Age? a true lady never reveals her age! But I am young and beautiful, of course Eye color? the most blue of the blues Hair color? chestnut brown, like all the Spanish/Italian ladies’ Height? perfect!
Faves:
Country? le home country, France Food? anything suitably gourmet… caviar is nice Movie? Chicago Drink? some champagne in an elegant fluted glass Animal? songbirds Color? royal purple!
Are you:
Nice? superstars don’t have to be nice to please fans Sarcastic? superstars don’t have to be sarcastic to please fans Funny? superstars don’t have to… oh, never mind
Finally:
Do you remember your dreams? I dream of glory and wake to fame! Oh wait.. it’s not a dream! Do you believe in soulmates? the stage is my only love Do you believe in love at first sight? of course; thousands of people experience it when they see me! What was your favorite childhood toy? my toy microphone Thoughts on life? the worth of a person can be measured by the number of their fans Who do you want to be stuck on an island with? someone who would properly appreciate my wonderfulness What did you do before Opera? I trained for Opera
“Superior Singer”
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From: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com To: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net Subject: Oops..
As all of you know, Mlle Daaé disappeared tonight right before the opening of Il Muto, and La Carlotta had to take her place at the last minute. It seems as if we have underestimated the Opera Ghost, and in his anger, he has taken our leading soprano.
We now ask you to form an angry, irrational lynch mob, and storm his lair under the Opera House to attempt to recover her. Thank you, and congratulations on tonight’s fabulous performance!
Your Slightly Concerned Managers, Andre & Firmin
PS. Dear Opera Ghost, if you are reading this: know that we do not mean any of the above… pretty please don’t kill us?
“I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more...”
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Authors’ Note: We apologize for not updating sooner! First there was the elephant incident, followed by the flying ninja force and the toxic pudding, and we just got distracted. We’re hard at work on chapter 8 now, though. Please review and let us know how we’re doing, and we’ll do our best to avoid further life-threatening situations… gee, that glacier’s getting awfully close..
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