Funny Joke Thread

[rayman112]

Disclamer- Before you read this there are two things I'd like to tell you. First, I didn't make this joke. And, also I don't thing all blongdes are dum. Just most.(I'm kidding enjoy the joke.)

A Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.

May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.

June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.

August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.

September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!

December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.

[Meluivan Indil]

As someone who was originally born a dishwater blonde I should resent this..... but dang if that ain't just hilarious. I'll stick with being a redhead.

M.

[Lady Idril]

Nice! I remember the August joke from an old show called Welcome Back, Kotter. Gabe Kaplan would say a joke in the beginning of every episode, and that was a punchline he used. Gosh, I miss that show...

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing, rayman

[Wyvernwings]

Hehe. Here's one that I love, that's only minorly offensive. But I'm Irish and I'm not offended at all.

Anyway, here's the joke.

Two Irish men walked past a bar...

The best part of that joke is telling it though. One of my friends is like a smidgen Irish, and she heard it and stared screaming "NOOOO!!!! MY EARS! THEY BURN!" My mom is almost full Irish and when I tell her the joke she narrows her eyes, shakes her head, and mutters something about Guiness.

Hehe I love that joke so much. I have to thank Vexli for telling it to me orriginally.

[Meluivan Indil]

Being only slightly Irish, I had to think about that for a minute but... yeah that is funny.

M.

[Ark]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.



It doesn't work for the rest of us.

[Anime Monster]

Very funny jokes. As someone who was born blond (though you couldn't tell anymore, those that know me in RL can testify to that) and is over half Irish I not only got all those jokes but I found myself laughing, for who can you laugh at if not yourself?

Rayman: I was trying so hard not to laugh while reading those, I don't want the people that I live with think that I finally went off my rocker.

Wyve: XD Yeah, like two Irish men would walk PAST a bar and not enter....

Ark: Chuck Norris needs to do my Calculus work for me...that way I'm not pulling my hair out at undefined numbers.

I could fill this page with blond jokes, I could fill this page with Irish jokes, I could fill this page wtih Chuck Norris jokes, but I think I'll just leave you with a simple oxymoron:

Common Sense